Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: BLUE SAILOR (the remix)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: denial
    Elite Ratio:    5.76 - 119/82/34
    Words: 395
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 1081
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 2560



    Description:
       if by submitting this, i make amends, so be it. i just want to feel right again. or for once, i dont' want the faint anymore. i just want so i fuck something new up so i don't have to think about what i didn't do last time.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBLUE SAILOR (the remix)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    when you're raggedy like a shadow, you're blue like a sailor.
    i want your secular eyes, i want your belle and sebastian noises.
    Like those mistakes of yours, you wear the best shade of off white.
    sometimes i smell your face in my morning lay awakes. but sometimes i don't.



    [sky opens up][repetitive snares][no electronica beeping please, it's only the 21st]

    words are over. they never begin, pluck those strays off the linonium and we'll start anew. sensitivity like laboratory systems, just keep me closer today. it smells nothing anymore, you've blown it all out, so please, just close the windows. please, just keep me closer today.

    [subtext][i forgot where i ripped it]
    oh, leonard, where will we be twenty years from now, when our animal lusts are satiated
    and there's a yawning gulf of familiarity between us, and
    Father Time surrounds the house and says 'Come out with your hands up or taste hot lead'?[end plagerism in another era]

    2.
    You're blue like a sailor
    I'll wrap you in seas
    i'M NOT FINISHED TILL YOU'RE OVER
    i'LL SLEEP IN THE CREASE.
    yOU'RE LIFE IS A RAINCOAT
    MY LOVER'S A BOY
    If you ask me once nicely
    i'd shut up and play coy
    LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER AND BRIGN OURSELVES HOME.
    and the world spins cleaner when you're holding my hand
    so let's do this together and bring orwelves home.

    [not audible-like everything else]
    Be good or be damned
    Dylan can't save us
    this sadness can try.
    You're lashes don't blink right
    when you sit down and cry.
    *

    i once said i'd settle for half real mornings and great air dreams. In between the lines everything is blue and white. I like you more than your easy disposition but exciting hesitance. This isn't easy but that's not the only reason. I can see you in light and dark. Funny and scared. You then me. So some time, some sick time when i forget, you'll come back.

    1. Don;'t think, let think.
    heavy with things she meant to say and things
    that get in the way. This may be a memoir, a fiction, a commentary. Shorts.

    I guess she embraced embarrased modernism and plasticity.

    These were the last intelligent jokes I have ever heard.




    Submitted on 2007-06-01 18:08:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      sometimes i smell your face in my morning lay awakes. but sometimes i don't.

    this is beautiful (not in a cheesy, roses-and-lace way, not in an overboiled, let's-drink-champagne-and-maybe-procreate-on-the-livingroom-floor way), like waking up and seeing the sun beautiful. beautiful because it's mundane and perfect. beautiful because sometimes-it-is-sometimes-it-isn't.



    (i'm bad at praise, but this was raw and perfect)
    | Posted on 2009-03-11 00:00:00 | by etheror | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    143998

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry