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    dots Submission Name: your yellow summersdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 675
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 639


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsyour yellow summersdots

    oh crane,
    how many lonely hours are you?
    swelling on your beach
    with your guilty cleavage
    pleasuring the local creeps
    and vested in your prideful anger

    if you could only see
    the distant angels of my blood
    before it's too late
    which it almost is

    the time approaches
    when even starting anew,
    knowing what we know,
    is no option
    and the brevity
    of your yellow summers
    will be filled
    with only yourself
    and the endless lonely hours
    and a lack of depth
    that only shallow puddles know

    Submitted on 2007-06-01 21:13:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      necrotic seems to speak the same language. even if put rather plainly. such is life.

    is it that same siren who plagues your heart and leaves musing harlots and these envied dark recesses?

    i suppose a blessing and a curse, for from what pain is born such crystalline beauty.

    leave the sea turtles and mermaids to their watery waste.

    adoringly yours
    | Posted on 2007-06-18 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, good stuff.

    Your work is like heroin...

    This one is great, but you seem to have lost your abilitly to bring your readers into your work with imagery, although not completely lost, but still it doesnt come through as much in this one. I like it though because you want to make sure that what you are trying to say isnt hidden with all this cool dreamy like stuff.

    Although, I am a big fan of imagery, and I can most likely read a poem with lots of it, and still know where your getting at. I like it a lot, not quite good enough for my elite faves, but most definetly good enough for my personal ones.

    You should write a book, and when you do, please let me know so I can buy it, I don't care how much it is. Everytime someone asks me who my favorite writer is... i''ll say 'Mathew May'

    And they'll look at me with confusion, maybe play along like they know what I'm talking about... but only if they are a writer also...
    and I'll ask what piece they like the best and they'll make something up.

    And I know your work well enough to realize when they are lying... and it's my turn to act confused...

    And then the change of subject.

    | Posted on 2007-06-09 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]

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