first of all i have to say i love the rose you have as your profile pic white roses are the key to this girls heart hehe.
when i read this i think of the song by extreme called more than words.
more than words to show you feel
that your love for me is real
then you wouldnt have to say
that you love me
coz id already know
i dunno... the end of the piece with tell me what i can say so my love can be a fact.... love is a word we throw about so easily but its actions that speak louder than words. and i think... even if you did screw up if you are able to talk about the whole thing and work out where it went wrong... where it hurts and whether it can be fixed then you have a chance. but words arent enough, you have to back them up with actions.
writing wise... i think this piece would be better stated and more effective if you were to stray from the "magic formula" of 4 line stanzas with rhyme. a lot of people seem to be writing in this way on this site recently and i dont think its actually helping/aiding their cause.
the thing i dislike about 4 line stanzas with rhyme is that you are forcing your message into the structure when its not a "one size fits all" kinda set up. sometimes this way of writing doesnt compliment the words you are using o