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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: perfect little girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jjd
    ASL Info:    20/male/Griffin, Ga.
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 20/78/34
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 1350
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1151



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsperfect little girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your perfect little girl who dropped her grades on here last report card, and that got yelled at you last night.
    Your perfect little girl that talked back to your mom again, and painted her nails black.
    Your perfect little girl lied to her mom all her life, who cries herself to sleep at night.
    Your perfect little girl that cuts herself Intel she bleeds, and that dates before she was 16.
    Your perfect little girl that doesn't want to go to church, and hates you.
    Your perfect little girl that has given up life to drugs,
    and then had a weed party today.
    Your perfect little girl that wants to run away, and has no real friends.
    Your perfect little girl that thinks she’s overweight, and wont let you dry her tears away.
    Your perfect little girl that disobeys you, hates the world and that is hated by the world.
    Your perfect little girl that says bad things about you,
    and is very un-happy.
    Your perfect little girl that has tried to commit suicide,and that has become a disgrace.
    But at the end of the day, she’s still your perfect little girl.




    Submitted on 2007-06-03 15:18:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey, you kinda inspired me, do ya mind if I make something similar but not at all the same?
    | Posted on 2011-01-07 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey! How'd you know?!?! xDDD
    But, my sister's the weed hog, It makes me sick just thinking about it >.<
    | Posted on 2011-01-07 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      i can sorta relate to this...sorta. i dont like being "my perfect little girl" by my parents cuz i know im not perfect, in any way. i like it tho!
    love,
    ~Liz~
    | Posted on 2009-07-12 00:00:00 | by ShadowGaze | [ Reply to This ]
      Great way to describe the heart of a parent!!! Children feel sometimes they have done too much or caused too much shame for their parents to still love them and want them or be proud that they are their child.

    But as a parent it doesn't matter how bad you mess up or how many times, how many times you had to bail them out or what this last one cost you.
    Because you are our child piece of us and you will forever be perfect in our eyes flaws cracks and all.


    Great way to express this!!
    | Posted on 2009-07-08 00:00:00 | by trynfinity | [ Reply to This ]
      I found this to be good. I actually didn't mind the repetitive "your perfect little girl". I think it added to the piece, by impressing that little detail. Maybe if you had skipped a line inbetween. Like instead of:
    Your perfect little girl who cries herself to sleep at night.
    Your perfect little girl that cuts herself Intel she bleeds.
    Your perfect little girl that dates before she was 16.
    Your perfect little girl that doesn't want to go to church.
    Your perfect little girl that hates you.

    You could try something like this instead...
    Your perfect little girl who cries herself to sleep at night.
    That cuts herself until she bleeds.
    Your perfect little girl that dates before she was 16.
    That doesn't want to go to church.
    Your perfect little girl that hates you.

    Anyway, it's just a suggestion. Also, with the spell-check. All in all, a great piece.

    | Posted on 2008-01-17 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]
      well i liked it. except how i had to read "Your perfect little girl " i think its perfect. and so true. but it would sound allot better if you didn't repeat the same phrase over and over. idk.. well to me it will. but i liked it allot^_^

    kay
    | Posted on 2007-06-25 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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