Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the blessed onedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Angel_Sin
    Elite Ratio:    6.96 - 20/26/30
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1090



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe blessed onedots
    -------------------------------------------


    You're the blessed one
    Born with sunshine in the veins, and
    everlasting bloom.
    Don't you see you're the lucky one?
    Stranger to days of gloom, and
    lingering pain.
    It's not so easy to be you,
    everybody else eases into life's ways and
    hides away from the ogling eye of death,

    There are inescapable, unerasable days
    riddled with doubts and fear,
    bridled with shame and pain
    Days that become wounds in time
    left for gods, demons to mend or exacerbate.
    ...and
    you'll never know the torment of such days,
    you'll never wake up a minute too late

    You're the blessed one
    born outside of the manacles of time and
    the humans doom.
    Can't you see you're the lucky one?
    gazing at the cold moon, and
    feeling light and free.
    It's not easy to be you
    everybody else sees the looming shadows and
    within themselves the amber light they can't preserve.




    Submitted on 2007-06-03 22:35:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      in some ways this piece makes me think of the worship of the sun...
    of the blessedness of the sun...
    of the fact that the sun only has to shine and there is very little threat of it dying or failing...


    this was quite an intriguing piece.
    your imagery is stunning and i really enjoyed it.

    there were parts of this piece where it seemed so personal... as if written to a loved one who has since passed on...
    it seemed so loving and beautiful...
    as if there was no sadness or grief just beauty in the fact that there is not longer any pain [or threat thereof...]



    There are inescapable, unerasable days

    i simply adore this line [and the majority of the stanza to be honest] though i cannot articulate why...



    yes... i continue to believe this was written to sun and i think... wouldnt it be wonderful to be born with sunshine in your veins...?
    | Posted on 2007-07-23 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This intrigues me. I don't understand who it's about. Why is this person 'outside the manacles of time'? Are they already dead? I thought that would be explained at the end of the poem, but it wasn't. I do like the last line though:

    'everybody else sees the looming shadows and
    within themselves the amber light they can't preserve.'

    Reminds me of Philip Larkin's (numerous) poems about death, creeping up on us all, and we're all so painfully aware of it.

    Interesting poem; I'd be grateful if you could explain the context to me.

    T x
    | Posted on 2007-06-04 00:00:00 | by tulip | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    144109

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry