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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Just You and Idots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: autumnflame
    ASL Info:    19/F/WA
    Elite Ratio:    5.88 - 12/8/3
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 156
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 957



    Description:
       written about my finace' and I


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJust You and Idots
    -------------------------------------------


    The dimming light flickers
    We gaze at the shadowed ceiling
    Everything lies still and voices are hushed
    Just the soft whispers of our breathing

    Nothing seems rushed
    I’m just lying in your arms
    Only thinking about now, there is nothing else
    There are no sounds, no alarms

    Just you and I melt
    Into the crisp cool night
    Untouched by the world around us
    It’s in these moments that I know this is right

    This is surely love not lust
    I can’t even begin to explain the amount
    Just like all of the stars in the sky,
    you can not count.

    Some nights we study the stars
    Amazed at their beauty
    And watch the settling clouds
    Dance in the headlights

    The steam crawls across the window pains
    We could sleep here all night
    In the mist you draw a heart
    And I’ll smile




    Submitted on 2007-06-04 01:49:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a great piece that simply projects emotion and a sense of serenity. even for someone who has never felt this kind of love, they could relate, I think. I think there is just one typo though...is 'across the window pains,' supposed to be, 'across the window panes?' I loved your description, and could feel the warmth, and peace, clearing rippling out from the words in waves of peaceful emotion, I would change nothing, (except the typo) keep on writing about what expresses you the best.
    -Katriana
    | Posted on 2007-06-14 00:00:00 | by dancer-of-words | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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