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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: you're beautifuldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: grrr im a rhino
    ASL Info:    17
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 1/1/2
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 611
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 467



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsyou're beautifuldots
    -------------------------------------------


    The words she writes are beautiful with emotions not on her sleeves, but on her paper. Her feelings scream out loud, but still no one knows all the lies shes been told, and all the scars she used to know. Her heart is broken and so is her mind. Her thoughts consist of things no one should ever find. The life she lives is just a lie. She'd better herself, and everyone else if she were just to die. And if she does, atleast we'll know she had a reason why.




    Submitted on 2007-06-04 11:40:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm not really too sure about this. I'm not too sure that the world would be better if anyone just died, and the rhyme coupled with the "depressed" subject matter don't work well together.

    I think it should be "she's been told" for "she has been told." I also think it should be "and all the scars she knows" because it's more direct, and scars don't usually fade away completely.

    I hope all is well,
    Amy
    | Posted on 2007-06-04 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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