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    dots Submission Name: black dawndots

    Author: poppi
    Elite Ratio:    7.47 - 72/55/37
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 860
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 724


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    dotsblack dawndots

    black dawn,
    on a crimson painted horizon
    as our wars
    turn into whispers
    plastered to lips coated with poison
    venom seeps into the veins,
    of the victim
    the battle is broken, the soldiers all gone
    but left behind
    one heart lay
    a steadying pulse beating,
    rendering its descent pointless
    a life not to be wasted
    boundaries tested
    he stumbles on
    a man among pretenders,
    hiding his face in a mask
    he’ll spend his whole life searching
    for someone who was never there
    will he find himself on the decrepit trail?
    or was this all just a maraud,
    a twisted dream
    concealed by fate?

    Submitted on 2007-06-05 08:03:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||

    this is a very intellectual and observant write. I'm not ure if this seems strange but the poem reminded me of how Germany was left after WWI. A broken and decrepid country after the ravages of war and battle raw and worn. Then slowly a man by the name of Hitler came about speaking of German pride and greatness fueling a dying nation with hope and mission. The UN did not pay attention to him as he began to build the broken germany into a proud and impressive nation once more. not until he invaded poland.

    im sure this wasnt the exact subject of the poem but it just reminded me of that. it was a very cool piece and wel wriiten. perhaps consider correct punctuation all the way through out it, but besides that it is good.

    your a sweetie and take care.

    yr friend,

    | Posted on 2007-06-25 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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