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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In Moonlightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 796
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1466



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Moonlightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wan moonlight to the rose is
    As dream to waking day,
    And dream a ghostly galleon,
    Nightmare or prancing stallion,
    While all that dream proposes
    Too soon will slip away.
    Wan moonlight to the rose is
    As dream to waking day.

    Your beauty like the luster
    Of Sirens in the deep,
    Will be to me a tether,
    In storms that I may weather
    The awful gales that bluster
    Upon the edge of sleep.
    Your beauty like the luster
    Of Sirens in the deep,

    Iíll ring you round with flowers,
    And charms by wizards rolled
    Across the distant mountains,
    Pulled up from haunted fountains,
    At twilight and dawn hours,
    Of gleaming hammered gold.
    Iíll ring you round with flowers,
    And charms by wizards rolled.

    At night with scented tapers,
    Iíll light your way through dream,
    Until my fleets on oceans
    Have carried potent potions,
    Till dawnís mist rise like vapors
    From some enchanted stream.
    At night with scented tapers,
    Iíll light your way through dream,

    Wan moonlight to the rose is
    As dream to waking day,
    And dream a ghostly galleon,
    Nightmare or prancing stallion,
    whileall that dream proposes
    Too soon will slip away.
    Wan moonlight to the rose is
    As dream to waking day.





    Submitted on 2007-06-05 12:49:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was by far the one of the best poems i have ever seen here on elite.
    this defintely blew me away!
    it creates such a beautiful scene of poetic fantasy and wonder...
    o.o

    speaking of such...
    i rlly don't know wat else to say..
    speechless, really.

    this is SO goin on my favorites.
    i feel like thanking you for writing this
    it's THAT good

    ....
    nice.
    very nice

    xo,
    grace
    | Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by XmaryjaneX | [ Reply to This ]
      the repetion and rythm of the language was quite ideal. I loved that it touched the romantic in me. yet i wish you had given a slight variation to the end, something different from the first stanza. all in all it is definetly a classic love poem in its finest and truest form. great piece.
    | Posted on 2007-06-06 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the form and the imagery. Pretty language from an old soul. It might run the danger of leaning towards too many stereotypes but I think it still is original enought to stand on its feet. I am not sure how I feel about the last verse being identical to the first. It creates a circle in the poem, but for my taste I would have tried to create a variation of the theme and give the ending some type of conclusion or message that is different from the opening. The repetition itself works, but I was hoping for a bit more of a surprise.

    All in all a great poem, and really - what do I know about poetry. For my taste this is definately better than average. Good work.
    | Posted on 2007-06-05 00:00:00 | by maltestrauss | [ Reply to This ]
      Aaaah Moonlight! A favorite with lovers and to Romanticists, and I fancying myself as both!!!

    'Wan moonlight to the rose is
    As dream to waking day'

    Delightful!
    | Posted on 2007-06-05 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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