[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Canoeingdots

    Author: bluepifany
    ASL Info:    27/F/Phoenix Arizona
    Elite Ratio:    4.3 - 174/147/33
    Words: 51
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 366

       It's been a while since I've been able to write anything, so this is obviously an ode to my personal writers block enjoy and comment as you may, oh how cliché

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The words are yet to be written upon the page.
    Swimming, maundering through the brain.
    Slipping and diving under the tongue.
    Rafting and bobbing rough waters for the thumb.
    When the vowel brinks, consenants shift,
    no paddle, floating up the crick.
    The dilemma remains unsolved,
    while the embryonic words remain loved.

    Submitted on 2004-06-15 21:02:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is interesting and kind of mysterious in a way. I like how you described the words floating in swimming in your mind, but other lines like 'When the vowel brinks, consenants shift' are kind of thrown in there I think. it needs some polishing in my opinion. hopefully you can do it and don't face writer's block anymore. I know how much that sucks cause I'm struggeling with it right now too.
    | Posted on 2004-06-16 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't really like it. It's 'funny' in a way how you used canoeing the relate to writer's block, but I think some lines were a bit...well not something I enjoy reading. I don't like to sound so negative and down on it..but.."When the vowel brinks and consenants shift"? I think this sounds like it was just thrown in there, I don't know. But yeah it was cute all in all. You spelled "consonants" wrong.
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by Indi Elf | [ Reply to This ]
      this is poetry. mysterious enough. the energy is inviting and full of hope. i always appreciate a fresh approach. it reminds me of the hall with my classmates getting ready for some expedition;excited
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by pioneerheart | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is an interesting piece. I like the concept. You have some good word choices. I really like the last line, which I believe is the strongest, and stands out the most. If you want to read a bad writer's block poem, I have one called No Storm Brewin' It was about my inablility to brainstorm
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem.. Reminds me of all the times I had writer's block. It may be an overused topic, but your words and rhythm made it work very well. Nice write.
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]
      cool pic and double cool as this is how i felt when i got back into writng poetry and stories...relating top the read3rs is important and u worded it very well. sMOOTH!

    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by lolavie | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]