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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Morning is No Curedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 230/385/134
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 494
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 764



    Description:
       I am a person who finds it difficult to forget the night.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMorning is No Curedots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is something unimaginably cold
    about waking up, swathed only in hard-edged
    blue shadows, in the middle of a very long night.
    It feels like the destruction of worlds,
    the genocide of thought and reason,
    and all that remains is to tremble and hope
    for the swift arrival of bright-lit morning
    (which, inevitably, comes late and grey.)

    It is a shiveringly desolate sensation
    that seeps into the lungs and stays
    for eons and eternities, until you become
    so weighed down with dark atmospheres
    that it becomes impossible to get up
    when morning finally decides to come.

    I have stayed in bed for so long now,
    I begin to believe I will never rise.




    Submitted on 2007-06-06 08:20:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was very entertaining. The descriptions of its physicality was very simple, but it eluded the natural sentiment of night, its intangible worries and its provoking, nightmarish reverie.

    I have no negative criticism for this piece. I can relate to it more than I can pick at it. There's some morning that are relieving, and bring you a different state of being. There are nights where you let every part of you sort of wander in their place, and mornings where they are just lanky limbs, weighing you down. It's almost too common nowadays.

    I am going to read more of your works, they are quite invigorating.
    | Posted on 2007-07-27 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]
      A very dark take on the night... I, personally, like the dark and the night as much as the day. There's something intoxicating about moonlight that the sun just lacks.

    I think here, again, your breaks in lines seem odd. Off. The enjambement doesn't really seem to work in some places
    *swathed only in hard-edged
    blue shadows*
    stands out as an example.

    Your imagery is good. Being 'weighed down with dark atmospheres' and the 'desolate sensation that seeps into lungs' are excellent lines.

    The hyperbole of the last two lines seems excessive but if you really do feel this bad in a morning then I take your point :)

    Thanks for the read
    | Posted on 2007-06-06 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]


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