[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Lovedots

    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 186
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 656
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1184


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Now true love will sure take us
    To realms unguessed and vast.
    Down in the great seaís sea foam,
    There in the oceanís sea dome,
    A wizard sought to break us,
    Our love was cruelly cast.
    Now true love will sure take us
    To realms unguessed and vast.

    Our love won out to save us,
    For who might work us ill?
    For when we are together,
    Our hearts float like some feather,
    And those who would enslave us
    Their plans will come to nil.
    Our love won out to save us,
    For who might work us ill?

    With oak our ship is builded,
    And joined with pegs of steel,
    The canvas laced with sewing,
    Takes breezes gently blowing,
    On tall masts fluted, gilded,
    As we both man the wheel.
    With oak our ship is builded,
    And joined with pegs of steel.

    So we cast off to sojourn
    Unto the furthest clime,
    Across the sea we welter,
    In search of perfect shelter,
    That we might not return
    And stand outside of Time.
    So we cast off to sojourn
    Unto the furthest clime!

    Submitted on 2007-06-06 18:04:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh this was real superb, Michael,

    A real enjoyable write that flowed so smoothly......................................and very interestingly done, I loved the rgyme scheme............................a lot of thought put in here and again, a wonderful idea.......................

    The poem had that kind of thrill that always comes with adventure within the lines that made one feel like reading on and on.

    Good Effort! : )

    Great Write! : )

    | Posted on 2007-06-22 00:00:00 | by mdsouza | [ Reply to This ]
      it was a great poem! I really loved it...I hope whoever your writing about has read this because if they do, they will surly fall even more in love with you! really sweet and great writing!
    | Posted on 2007-06-07 00:00:00 | by Pri | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. I think a lot of people who are in love will relate to it a lot. Keep posting. You are a good writer. I enjoy your work. Ihope to read more by you soon.


    | Posted on 2007-06-07 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      neat! cross between Lochinvar and Rime of The Ancient Mariner. the wording is similar to the latter, and the feel and theme to the former; although im not sure if you would agree on this. i like it!
    | Posted on 2007-06-07 00:00:00 | by esoterica | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Giving written by jjd
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    untitled written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]