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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Cut Abovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 752
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 954
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4997



    Description:
       ~A stand alone short story involving two different views of happy thoughts~


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Cut Abovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A Cut Above

    Sandy? Ok, care to clue me in on exactly what happened here?

    Well, our Grand Matriarch, the Lady Miss Keir, said we must spill some blood to appease the Earth Mother to allow our crops to grow and our souls to thrive.

    What?

    So the soil could yield its abundance and this drab little town might be happy.

    Crops? You mean gardens…farmlands?

    Gardens are important, don’t you agree? Everyone should feast on greens now and then and the best are grown organically. However, the Earth Mother must be appeased to create harmony.

    Appeased?

    Yes, with blood.

    And that’s why the dead, nude salesman is lying in a bean field with his clothing neatly folded and his penis in his pocket?

    Of course, he was a willing participant. Naomi kept him aroused and he died smiling.

    Aroused? You don’t mean…

    Not too aroused, if he’d spilled his seed it would have ruined everything. He said he was so happy he could die. You should have seen him gasping for air with a lopsided grin. He was almost in heaven; we just opened the door.

    Heaven? He was castrated! You castrated a 62 year old man to grow beans and cucumbers? What the hell!

    His name was Mr. Sagittarius. That was his ritual name. Every sacrifice must have his name spoken before the ritual is initiated. We read that online. And it wasn’t just for our gardens, it was for ourselves. Life is a celebration, but not for everyone. Even our children will grow tall as corn if we’re willing to give life to the soil that gave it.

    With human blood?

    With warm blood. The warmest comes from an erection. And Mr. Sagittarius was fat and full of blood. Now our Grand Matriarch is convinced the drought will pass and the Earth will be blessed…and bless us. Why waste blood in unsanctified wars. I read that in a blog somewhere.

    Aoooookkkayyy…Do you realize you and the ‘sisterhood’ have just committed murder? And as much as we’d all like to be tolerant of every religion’s exotic…practices, no jury on earth is going to grasp the logic of your argument. No one can just make this…go away.

    But aren’t you the chief of police? And a former trustee? And you’re the only person, other than us of course, that’s even seen the body. You can remedy this easily by letting the Earth Mother take Mr. Sagittarius back to her kingdom.

    And the rest of you?

    Just let us go. Let me go. You wouldn’t let them send me to jail…would you Daddy?

    My God, I… you learned all of this on the net?

    Daddy, telling is ridiculous. Hints are so much more appealing because…they say so much…and so little.

    Sandy…I…

    You never noticed me, I could have changed color or grown a foot taller or two feet shorter and you wouldn’t have known because you’ve always embraced clues but not whispers. I’m the same and I’m different and I’m good and…not so good. Didn’t you wonder who left you those books?

    Wha…books? On religious practices?

    In ancient societies, yes. I just wanted your attention, at first. You didn’t love me like you used to, but I was okay with that because no one ever loves anyone else that way anymore. But Lady Miss Keir and Naomi taught me how to change that.

    Sandy, what are you talking about? You don’t really mean that this…ritual…was meant to draw us closer, do you?

    That depends on you. I just wanted you to abandon your rituals and embrace mine. You’re only my stepfather, really. How could I expect you to understand?

    I can’t imagine what you…mean.

    Yes you do. Even Earth Mothers need a Year Father.

    Year Father?

    Yes, they’re allowed to live a year on nothing but pleasure. Would you like to be mine?

    Sandy, I’ve known you since you were eleven when your Mom and I got married. Who the hell are you now?

    Time to make a decision, Daddy, before the blade strikes…

    Oh my G…

    Shhhh-




    Submitted on 2007-06-07 14:35:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I've said before and I will say again, Bill Suter is a creepy little man! Your inner Stephen King has truly come forward. This makes me think of Children of the Corn meets Lorena Bobbitt meets the Manson Family.

    One nit (possibly the first one ever I have found on you): Fifth line up from the bottom should be 'known" not "know" I believe.

    Thanks in advance for the nightmares.

    annie
    | Posted on 2007-10-08 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]
      oh man, this had me in stitches! odd how i didnt catch this before.

    "We read that online." nearly busted a gut, and "read that in a blog somewhere" knocked me out.. quite the 1-2 punch there.

    sandy sounds like a few people i know, sans the ritualistic sex, castrations and the bizzare electra complex.

    yeah, a lot of people base a lot of who they are on the sh.it they find on the magical world of the internet. but hey, who are we to talk? eh? eh? *elbow elbow*

    anyway, this is another story featuring a cop... are you secretly one? mild-mannered writer by day, crime-fighter by night? coz i totally would not be surprised.
    | Posted on 2007-09-30 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]
      gah~
    i really think you have found your... niche.
    prose is your bag baby...
    dont limit yourself to it but please please please dont stop writing it.
    ive tried to write prose and failed over and over again... im just not...abstract enough... i overstate everything...

    no offence but this is a really messed up story lol. there are other ways of getting ppls attention though it does seem like an effective one. i dont think ill try it myself though

    i like the way you told this. i dont think it was humourous as others have suggested but it was effective.
    its the interation in your prose that gets me. the way the dialogue seems so... natural that keeps me wanting more...

    | Posted on 2007-06-12 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      ah the repetoire of dialogue was the first thing i liked.. the humour of it all in the beginning was fabulous and the unexpected turn of sandy's motive was quite surprising. over all i enjoyed very much.excellent story. i am glad to have read it. i kept pausing my cursor over it while i was looking through the recent submissions page but i kept passing up cause when i clicked i saw the length and i was looking for stanza divided poems to read yet as soon as i began reading after the fourth viewing i couldnt stop. great job and my pleasure of reading it.

    have fun!

    ash
    | Posted on 2007-06-07 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this, and I mean REALLY until she tells him it was to get his attention. Up until then it's a very British kind of humour like you get in editorial columns and such (Miles Kington from The Independent springs to mind) and I expected it to end on a witty, dry note. I won't say I'm disappointed because you had your own vision for it but it seems to lose a lot of the power that it has when you make that shift in tone and idea.

    I still like it very much though. Thanks for the read :)
    | Posted on 2007-06-07 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]


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