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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forget Most of Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 230/390/136
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 800
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1053



    Description:
       Spawned from the prompt 'If you could control how the world would remembered you- would you? And if the answer is yes, how do you want to be remembered?'


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForget Most of Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I take the road inevitably traveled
    and slip from this precarious mortal coil,
    there will be a small, unadorned funeral.
    Those friends who will gather together
    to give me a final send-off in salt rain,
    pleaseódo not remember me as I am.

    Forget those days when I was silent,
    choked by the magnitude of the world,
    so vast, incomprehensible, and terrifying.

    Forget those days when I was angry,
    confused and infuriated by a society
    that I had utterly failed to interpret.

    Forget everything, except the rare nights
    when poetry poured crystalline from my lips,
    frothing out in a stream of relief and freedom,
    when all I was transformed to truth and joy.

    When I slip, and plummet into cold darkness,
    and you reminisce over my small tombstone,
    remember the times I cried from rapture
    beneath stars that keened sweetly from above--

    those are the only times that meant anything.




    Submitted on 2007-06-07 22:09:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "Forget everything, except the rare nights
    when poetry poured crystalline from my lips,
    frothing out in a stream of relief and freedom,
    when all I was transformed to truth and joy.

    ...

    remember the times I cried from rapture
    beneath stars that keened sweetly from above--

    those are they[typo] only times that meant anything."



    Those parts are beautiful.

    I think the first stanza is perhaps a bit too long - your demise isn't really what the poem's about, it's about your life, and the parts you want remembered.

    By the way, your vocabulary is fantastic.

    Good write.

    T x
    | Posted on 2007-06-08 00:00:00 | by tulip | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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    January 10 07
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