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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Runaway Musedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1205
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 666



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRunaway Musedots
    -------------------------------------------


    My muse skipped town,
    She up and quit,
    My poetry
    has gone to spit.

    Got no ideas
    without my muse.
    She up and took
    a year-long cruise.

    Creative juices
    dried to dust,
    I need her back -
    To Write or Bust.

    Her hair is short,
    Her hair is long;
    Her voice is like
    a silent song.

    Her eyes are blue,
    Her eyes are green;
    Her heart is full
    of love, and lean.

    She likes to sleep,
    She likes to roam;
    If you find her
    Send her home.








    Submitted on 2007-06-09 00:55:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      writers block anyone?

    seems that the unfaithful mistress skips town whenever you need her.

    at least that's the case for myself.

    but then, even poets take inspiration for granted, and wither up when it is absent.

    anyhow.

    i liked the piece.

    i agree with most of what was stated before i got here.

    but also,

    it was simple and lyrical and accomplished what it set out to do.

    thats all that matters.

    :)

    good work.

    | Posted on 2007-06-09 00:00:00 | by Sheakhan | [ Reply to This ]
      You do well with the rhythm here. Pretty consistent all the way through. I have to say I agree about the 'love and mean' part. I had to stop while I was reading the poem and just think 'What?!'.

    Also I don't really see what you're getting at with the contradictions.

    "her eyes are blue, her eyes are green"

    "her hair is short, her hair is long"

    I can't decide whether you're making a point or whether it's for the sake of pleasant rhythm and repetition.

    Thanks for the read.
    | Posted on 2007-06-09 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]
      Creative juices
    dried to dust,
    I need her back
    To Write or Bust.

    Her hair is short,
    Her hair is long;
    Her voice is like
    a silent song.

    Her eyes are blue,
    Her eyes are green;
    Her heart is (sweet)
    (or else it's) mean.

    She likes to sleep,
    She likes to roam;
    If you find her
    Send her home.



    I agree, the 'love and mean' line needs either drastically altered or eliminated (although I've offered you a possible solution to the problem in parentheses above, you may consider eliminating that strophe altogether). Other than that nit, it seems fine. If I see this blue and green eyed, short and long haired lady, I'll certainly let her know you're expecting her. ;)

    Bill
    | Posted on 2007-06-09 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      I didnt love it but I came very close to.You kinda lost some love when you put that "her heart is full of love and mean"I feel like you could have put something else than mean in that.Enough with that I love when you wrote"her voice is like a silent song".I have no idea why but that jumped out at me.
    Thanks for the read
    Sincerly,
    -the girl who cried wolf to much
    | Posted on 2007-06-09 00:00:00 | by BlueTorcher | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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