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    dots Submission Name: the scribbles on your walldots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 959
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 782


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe scribbles on your walldots

    in some sort of soft patterned future
    i'll adore you
    the light carrooming off the waters crest
    like lush red apples
    floating down an icy childhood river
    in early october
    the scent of costumes in the air
    as leaves cling to your disheveled hair

    the ash that i rubbed on your forehead
    remembers me
    and i,
    with the ancient parchment
    of my middle eye
    inside you
    & the dark birds of autumn
    flowing through my hands

    dreams know nothing
    of the joking, sullen heart
    except for when the line appears
    and tears
    become as comfortable as jewelery
    like the necklace that i made for you
    from the scribbles on your wall

    Submitted on 2007-06-09 16:07:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I absolutly loved this. I read it three times, not because I didn't get it, but because I love how everything goes together so nicely. I have absolutly no complaints about this poem, and even with my nitpicking, I can't find anything you should change.

    Well maybe one, turn '&' to 'and.'

    but I am defintely adding this to my faves, and I have always said that you have outstanding talent and you are so good at what you do, you should really make this a career if you havent already, you could be like the new sylvia plath or robert white I think his name is...

    Hell, shoot for edgar allen poe!

    | Posted on 2007-06-09 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]

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