Rain by EmpathicAya

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Rain dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	EmpathicAya
ASL Info:	12+6/unMale/Your Mind
Elite Ratio:	7.64 - 626/369/80
Words:	99

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	197
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	634

Description:
Look up sometimes...
~Azura*

Rain

-------------------------------------------

The world had told me in passing that
yours was the voice I was enchanted by
while residing in the womb.

You were the first that believed in me
here, when the Divine light first
glowed and got reflected upwards.

And Time spun it around Her Wheel.

Sometimes you were glad to serve as a
medium between me
and Deity
and
sometimes you weren't.

But I never questioned
and I never gave up hope

although some people might take it for granted,
the world looks so beautiful after it rains.

Submitted on 2007-06-09 19:56:08 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  cry only when it rains, for the heavens cry with you

if there was such a thing, I would define you as an impressionist poet.
Because your words paint a picture which would not be out of place with the Impressionists!
You're the first to portray Time as a female entity though, and no mention whatsoever of the clichéd hourglass and sickle.
however my dead brain refuses to comprehend your metaphors, so let me simply add that is was my very good fortune to read this, and the rain is lovely.
Cheers
Azuire
| Posted on 2007-07-22 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
  This isn't really so much a comment on your poem, but on a thought that I had conceived and left abandoned in some forgotten pile of papers:

To know how deep love is, to know the distance that it can claim and far surpass; to know or at the very least understand through example, through analogy, through simile - poets and philosophers, and intellectuals have failed at this. In their trying to sound exact and intelligent, they always look down, they let the brain do the work and not the heart. "My love is as deep as the sea." "Love is as vast as the desert." 'Her love for me is as numerous in its expressions as the trees in all the forest."

But to know how deep and how true and how free of condition real love is, no wordy, and somewhat annoying, sayings are needed.

Love does not look down.

To know how deep - look up.

Your heart will fill in the knowledge, leaping like a fear of heights.

- mandolin

| Posted on 2007-07-10 00:00:00 | by Mandolin | [ Reply to This ]
  Rain is such an intriguing thing. Right now in England there's loads of it and there's been flooding and damage in some areas but round where I live there's been just the right amount and it's left everywhere all fresh and sparkly and and it's like everywhere in infused with life again. It's also musical the way it beats down on everything in mad cascading tribal rhythm and then afterwards there's still the gentle random drip drop of it falling off leaves and gurgling in streams and down drains like the world is murmering content and exhausted.

And I think it's intriguing what a strong connection you have with it, the way that it's not just something magical but a link to deity and the divine. A spiritual link with the beauty of it.

Hooray for rain!
| Posted on 2007-06-28 00:00:00 | by Icarus | [ Reply to This ]
  I do really like rain. Well I always seemed to connect it more with my own tears which sort of plays a role in the piece. But seriously, this is amazing. Great imagery and wording and everything else important in a piece. I love how you close it up in the end with just a simple suggestion to look out and see the world for what it is.
Keep it up.
~flora~
| Posted on 2007-06-27 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]
  "And Time spun it around Her Wheel."

thats my fav line.
i've never heard anything like it before.
the whole poem is a masterpiece.
thank you for sharing it.

| Posted on 2007-06-20 00:00:00 | by lilathalone | [ Reply to This ]
  I have to say, I have a fondness for rain. But only in the summer, when it is really warm beats down really heavily, then you get that mossy smell afterwards. Although I get the impression this isn't just rain you're talking about I get the image of that post-rain calm.

The first two lines I like very much. Nice phrases.

The rest of it I don't really get too much. There are a lot of religious messages in there mixed with these more earthly ones. When I read it I don't really see the connection between those last two lines and the rest of the poem.

It feels like something might be there but I don't know what that something is. Thanks for the read.
| Posted on 2007-06-10 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

144547

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]