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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Cup of Coffeedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: VivaLaVina
    ASL Info:    20..F..Malaysia
    Elite Ratio:    5.91 - 13/12/9
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 97
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1056



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Cup of Coffeedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The sweet scent of you had drawn me close.
    In this circle of heaven I've melt in you.
    The heat of you could make me sweat.
    Warm liquid flows down my throat, you fed.
    In a second ignites my ecstasy.

    Rainy, sunny, and the four seasons along;
    You're there to make my smile aglow.
    Warm the cold and heat up the love.
    With the sweet taste of you;
    The first, then second, and third I'll go.

    Always shall I, long for your touch on the lips.
    With your love so sweet to warm my needs;
    And the taste so strong you’ve searched through mist;
    The heavenly scent, you’ve soothed my mind;
    My body, my soul… as you pleased.

    I shall confess, my love.
    The first time ever I tasted you,
    I know how much I’ve longed for you.
    Upon your touch I’ve wrapped in love.
    Never shall I part from you.

    With one golden touch,
    You’re still my one… my cup of coffee.




    Submitted on 2007-06-10 09:13:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      They say 'caffeine' is a drug and people get addicted to it.... just as they get addicted to the idea of love, falling in love and being in love. I love how your descriptions are so appropriate for the 'coffee' concept, yet they are AS suitable to describe a passionate encounter. I'm not sure if it was intentionnal but it sure had a tremendous impact and to me, that's what made the difference between it being 'ok' and it being 'wow'. Although the title "My Cup of Coffee" prepared me to read something about coffee, the truth is that when I read it, not ONCE did coffee come to mind. It was a story of love and of passion....and it's only in the last verse, that I was reminded it was about 'coffee'! I then reread it and wooow.
    I really enjoyed it.
    Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2007-06-10 00:00:00 | by Noha Al-Yasiri | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it when those two words are combined. 'Sweet scent' is one of my favourite turns of the tongue (and I've used it myself on (probably) too many occasions).

    You do quite well here to avoid cliché to say how full of clichés the passion genre is. 'Heavenly scent' is obviously a fairly typical one and passions 'igniting' is also pretty common.

    This is best when you use your own, raw phrases and images.
    'The heat of you could make me sweat'
    is quite striking and unexpected next to all of the more flowery language. I liked that line a lot.

    I enjoyed reading it, thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2007-06-10 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]



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