The Memory Book -------------------------------------------
Turning pages in my mind
Of promises shared
Almost every single one
Written
Rewritten
Read and reread
Keeping this stubborn spirit
From moving on
How can I expect to forget
If every nuance of nature
Is reminiscent of blissful times
Times even when it would rain
The sun still shone upon us
As if to condone this intricate oasis
Two people
Surrounded by disarray
Made.
But everything that is made
Eventually falls apart
So the screws come loose
The pieces rust
And this once brilliant creation
Becomes part of an uninspired world once more
Oh how I longed for consistency!
But it never came
Though I waited relentlessly
Peering out the window day after day
Watching flowers bloom
Watching leaves fall
And now fatigued and weary
All I can do is to run away
And continue turning pages in my mind.
I'm honestly impressed.....first of all I'd like to point out your extensive vocabulary, (of which I am jealous) you really pushed the bar here with a common feeling. I identified with this right away, (honestly I wish i'd've read it three months ago).
I'd also like to point out that it holds true to some archaic feelings of desire, I can't think of a person in my life that wants stability more than I do, and from past experiances of seeking it out I've found this atmosphere that I can hardly describe. Yet in this piece i've found the same atmosphere, it's this doldrum feeling. A rhythmic mechanical clock that is winding down every minute and rarely lets you forget it.
Kat, this is excellent! It tells a delightful, intriguing story, and is enjoyable and intriguing to read! You have a developing talent, and the imagination and sensitivity of a great writer!
First thing I noticed was the half-rhyme keeping the poem going with 'shared' and 'reread'. It's a technique I really like and is used subtly here. To someone who isn't used to it they might wonder why its flowing so well there.
The word 'consistency' doesn't seem to fit with the overall tone of the poem. I can't think of a word that does the exact same job but something along the lines of 'permanence' might work better.
The last line rounds things off well. Its not particularly original but it works nicely here. The 'continue' is a nice touch.
Submission Name: The Memory Book
