Well, i may be wrong, but i did not enjoy it. because it was and i felt that you were just talking to a person, for me you did not write poetry in this, so well do not take as a rude person, that is what i think about it. try to make it better with more symbols. so keep writing
and have a nice day
i hope you can do it better next time.
and if you have time please take a look to my writings.
peace and love