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    dots Submission Name: Rain On Me. Please.dots

    Author: save me
    ASL Info:    19/F
    Elite Ratio:    1.78 - 26/51/53
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 458


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRain On Me. Please.dots

    Wash away my cheeks stained with tears,
    Wash away my eyes filled with fears,

    Wash away the problems I have within,
    Wash them away as easily as it is to sin,

    Wash away the people of hate,
    Wash away all of gods fate,

    Wash away the months of a year,
    Let us live in hope, and not fear,

    Rain on me,
    Wash away all of my emotions,
    Slowly with ease.

    Submitted on 2007-06-11 17:48:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I agree it has beautiful imagery. It's not always so easy to wash away the guilt as it was to put it there in the first place. I especially like the last verse. It's a perfect ending for it.
    | Posted on 2007-07-09 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Well written with beautiful description. You paint a great picture of desire for renewing, much better than I would have at first expected from the title. You've shown your talent in this piece, very well done.

    Wash away the problems I have within,
    Was them away as easily as it is to sin,

    I believe you are missing an "h" in the 2nd wash. For "was" doesn't make much sense.

    I really could relate to this, as the growing pain and depression found in teens is evident in every aspect in life. However, not just in teens but in people in general. All we need is to be washed, picked up, and given a second chance. Well done, save me.
    | Posted on 2007-06-25 00:00:00 | by djtswing | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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