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I wanted to express my feelings. I wanted to show that I care. I wanted to tell you I love you, And watch the clouds float though the air. To lay in the grass Your arms around me, Your body so close, A kiss on the lips, I will forever be yours. There is something about you. A gleam in your eye. The way of your touch, And I hope you’re the right guy. |
it's really cute, and quite simple to the point.. my only thing would be this verse doesnt fit with the rest of the poem. "To lay in the grass Your arms around me, Your body so close, A kiss on the lips, I will forever be yours." the other two verses have a set kindof rhythm/rhyme scheme happening but this is out of place.. because theres an extra line and theres rhyme here.. so yes like it but wouldnt say i luv it MDP | Posted on 2007-06-13 00:00:00 | by MysterydarkPoet | [ Reply to This ] | This is pretty good but I cant help but think of how great this write could be with a little more metaphors to capture the emotion you are writing about | Brien is very lucky to have you as a a girlfriend This is a sweet tribute to his Love God Bless Ron Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think Thank You Ron | Posted on 2007-06-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] | |