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Her sweet lips lay cold and dry the night she slipped away. She forgot to want my touch as she died before the day. I cried not for a day or two, or a week of endless tears; my agony ran deep enough to cry for months and years. A ghost of love disturbed me night by voiceless, violent night. My tortured sorrow lit within my heart a wicked light. I sought revenge for my true love from those who stole her heart; I fought against her dearest kin to preserve my lifeless art. She swore to never leave me though she be buried deep; the church could fall upon her and still she would not sleep. But she is just a spirit that haunts me in my dreams. No pain that I cause anyone will bring her back to me. My hatred has failed to cure my aching heart. It seems that destiny has ruled we spend eternity apart. Rain pours through the window as I call her pretty name. I lie here without her love, alone until the grave. |
The title of this poem caught my attention— for I thought "Hmm! I want to read a poem about Heathcliff!" and I assumed it was the Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, and it was. Yay! "No pain that I cause anyone will bring her back to me." mmm this is a nice phrase, and it seems to fit his character/the story so well, too! "My hatred has failed to cure my aching heart. It seems that destiny has ruled we spend eternity apart." this stanza seems to be out of line with the others... it just doesn't read the same. It could be alright if it didn't follow the same structure as the others, but since it looks like it is meant to sound the same... it should. But I did enjoy this overall! Peace, Lucydiamond | Posted on 2007-06-12 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ] | 'My hatred has failed | to cure my aching heart. It seems that destiny has ruled we spend eternity apart.' doesn't work as well as the others. You usually keep to your meter pretty well but it falters a bit here. Also the use of sleep so close to each other in rhyming positions here > 'and still she would not sleep. But she is just a spirit that haunts me in my sleep.' doesn't seem right. Something different would probably work better. Overall though I thought you represented the novel fairly well. Your structure and rhyme are quite simple but I think that works well for what you're trying to do here. Thanks for the read. | Posted on 2007-06-12 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ] | |