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Author: Magic Dragon
Elite Ratio:    5.11 - 62 /64 /38
Words: 137
Class/Type: Rant /Angry
Total Views: 905
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 919


I'm just pissed off cause someone ripped me off.


Look at me one more Fucking time
And I'll kill you
Faster than you can scream!

No, I'm just kidding
I'll make it slow
And painful.

I want to watch you cry.

Plead for mercy,

I want to make you bleed,
Bleed the hate that I've held for you,
And drown in it.

I want to burn you,
Just to watch the tears

I want to strangle your soul.

Hell will be a sweet release,
When I'm through with you.

I want to be your blanket
Of darkness
Hard and painful to touch.

Don't sleep just yet,
I want you to see
The knife cut you.

I want you to hear me laugh at your misery.

Are you breathing?

Good. . .

Submitted on 2007-06-12 15:28:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I enjoyed

'I want to burn you,
Just to watch the tears

very much. Good use of words here. Really good. The rest...well it obviously isn't about how good a poem it is, its just a way for you to express this rage towards this person. Its nothing particularly different - I wouldn't recommend you try and publish it or anything. But its honest sentiment (something there tends not to be enough of in the world). Some is obviously excessive

Don't sleep just yet,
I want you to see
The knife cut you.)

but a little hyperbole is fine now and again, especially when expressing rage.

Thanks for the read.
| Posted on 2007-06-13 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]
  erm......I take it someone's bothering you.
a lot.

I would specify this not necessarily as poetry. Just something that makes me not want to get on your bad side.
| Posted on 2007-06-12 00:00:00 | by dancer-of-words | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't know if you can really call this poetry. Maybe a wish list, but not poetry. Although I think it might make a good song if you tinkered with it. Sorry that someone or something did something to you to make you feel that way.

| Posted on 2007-06-12 00:00:00 | by tagit | [ Reply to This ]

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