Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Punk Jivedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Waywarddaughter
    ASL Info:    17/f/Vt
    Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 72/52/22
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1151
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1298



    Description:
       My love affair with the underground punk community in my town. This isn't really up to my standards, but I hadn't posted in awhile and I wanted to express this love....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Punk Jivedots
    -------------------------------------------


    the dark sweat in the thrum
    the nasty grass that crept up clothing
    the groping hands,
    the crunch of body against body.

    they weren't the sons of a revolution.
    they aren't the angry, mistreated youth.

    They are the passion, the moody peace,
    the skill of screams of truth,
    the joy of lies.

    of intoxicants and smoke and cherubs fly
    the babies only mother wants to protect.

    the deep riff of internal madness
    that eats and eats

    gorges itself on the living young
    the beauty of misconstrued reality.

    Oh how they will stare
    they have every right to stare
    the philosophy of beauty
    in a crunch of bone as bodies collide
    the thrum of bass and drum,
    the scream of seams.

    They will dance the Punk Jive.

    They will dance the Punk Jive,
    of love under basement roofs
    of love under repression, depression.
    of love under lies, under bodies of purple.

    They will dance the Punk Jive,
    feel the rush, the rush,
    the sweet bite of blood on tongue
    smash the idealism of a perfection.

    We will dance the Punk Jive.




    Submitted on 2007-06-12 18:01:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well i'm 52,and i would have given anything to be at a club to see The Clash perform.
    This piece shows me thats just how i would have felt...because i lalalalalala love The Clash...
    The picture is a good choice for this piece it's perfect..
    I don't see anything here to critique as far as i can see ...you put this together with good detail and thought for your love of the Underground Punk Jive
    | Posted on 2007-06-24 00:00:00 | by deluka | [ Reply to This ]
      The fact that I am 58 years old and quite removed from this scene makes it truluy impossible for me to actually have experienced what you write about. That being said, I can hinestly say that you have succeeded in giving me a glimpse into this alternate culture without making me want to be judgemental. I would have to say that constitutes a well written and readily recieved piece of poetry. Thanks for the little peek.
    | Posted on 2007-06-14 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      of intoxicants and smoke and cherubs fly
    the babies only mother wants to protect.

    That line says to me: "Hello, my name is God. How do you do?"
    | Posted on 2007-06-12 00:00:00 | by Melora | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    144704

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry