[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: my greenish pantheismdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 434
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 710


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy greenish pantheismdots

    i've been reverse engineering
    the heart of christ
    as to better facilitate
    the removal
    of this black cauldron summer
    from my faith
    of which i have none blindly
    nor am i devoted
    to any god
    outside of nature itself
    in which i am

    & with my greenish pantheism
    i placate the teeth bearing tigers
    of my youth
    & all the exotic stretches
    of my upside-down bird
    released from the trees
    into a shock of native skies

    when i speak i often wonder
    what i'm saying
    as my words are always running into each other
    with some sort of forceful luxury

    Submitted on 2007-06-13 20:52:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I've skimmed a few of yours and I'm quite impressed. You find words with real impact, without deigning to petty shock value like so many of the angst ridden emo poets on most of these sites.

    "As I dove to the deepest depths of my dark, danky, devouring doom..." blegh!

    I quite like this piece as I myself find I feel more peace
    in the workings of nature and the earthly than I do in the depressing teachings of spiritual virtue. I see a cohesive spirit in nature, a world-wide conciousness if you will though I myself would not be inclined to call it God.

    Other than this all I have to say, or rather to ask, is why this labeled as prose when it's clearly poetry? Unless I'm mistaken prose is, well, what I'm writing now. Sentences and paragraphs structured to form ideas and arguements. Prose is used for stories, essays, articles and the like. Poetry on the other hand is simply words, prefferably as few as possible, carefully chosen and structured in a way to invoke a strong emotional impact in the reader whether or not any clear point is communicated.

    I don't want to insult or offend in any way, I was just curious. Did you think prose was perhaps a term for free-verse poetry, or were you trying to be ironic?
    | Posted on 2007-06-16 00:00:00 | by Rick Vanley | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Live In Between written by teika5
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]