Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: my greenish pantheismdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 444
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 710



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy greenish pantheismdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i've been reverse engineering
    the heart of christ
    as to better facilitate
    the removal
    of this black cauldron summer
    from my faith
    of which i have none blindly
    nor am i devoted
    to any god
    outside of nature itself
    in which i am

    & with my greenish pantheism
    i placate the teeth bearing tigers
    of my youth
    & all the exotic stretches
    of my upside-down bird
    released from the trees
    into a shock of native skies

    when i speak i often wonder
    what i'm saying
    as my words are always running into each other
    with some sort of forceful luxury




    Submitted on 2007-06-13 20:52:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I've skimmed a few of yours and I'm quite impressed. You find words with real impact, without deigning to petty shock value like so many of the angst ridden emo poets on most of these sites.

    "As I dove to the deepest depths of my dark, danky, devouring doom..." blegh!

    I quite like this piece as I myself find I feel more peace
    in the workings of nature and the earthly than I do in the depressing teachings of spiritual virtue. I see a cohesive spirit in nature, a world-wide conciousness if you will though I myself would not be inclined to call it God.

    Other than this all I have to say, or rather to ask, is why this labeled as prose when it's clearly poetry? Unless I'm mistaken prose is, well, what I'm writing now. Sentences and paragraphs structured to form ideas and arguements. Prose is used for stories, essays, articles and the like. Poetry on the other hand is simply words, prefferably as few as possible, carefully chosen and structured in a way to invoke a strong emotional impact in the reader whether or not any clear point is communicated.

    I don't want to insult or offend in any way, I was just curious. Did you think prose was perhaps a term for free-verse poetry, or were you trying to be ironic?
    | Posted on 2007-06-16 00:00:00 | by Rick Vanley | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    144756

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Etiquette written by saartha
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Every..... written by jackz
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Love written by saartha
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Shi written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry