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    dots Submission Name: "Dreaming"dots

    Author: PrettyRicki
    ASL Info:    19
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 29/49/11
    Words: 267
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 1728

       Well...basically...when you look for love, and even when you're not looking for it, you encounter many disapointments along the way...this poem basically explains all of those feelings...and trust me, they're true...enjoy

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    By: PrettyRicki

    You go through life looking,
    for that one person to make you smile;
    one person to hold your head high,
    and save you from Love's denial,

    And along the way you find,
    alot more tears than shine,
    times where you feel pain,
    and where youre forced to unwind,

    You meet a new person,
    laugh, smile and your in love,
    then cry, frown, break up,
    and take a look at what once was,

    You dream and you dream,
    about when things will be right,
    about when that one person,
    will love and hold you tight,

    You dream about the good things,
    like all the clowning and the jokes,
    all the showers, the play fights,
    and arguing over the remote,

    And while you dream, you think,
    "Do dreams really come true?"
    If they do, then grant me mine,
    Cuz God knows I've paid my dues,

    Some people want the finer things,
    all the money, the glitz, the glamour,
    But I can honestly tell you,
    that love's the only thing Im after,

    Cuz see I can have the money,
    and I can have the fame,
    But what I want, is for my heart to skip,
    each time I hear your name,

    I want my smile to shine,
    each & every morning I wake up,
    To see the good side of things,
    and take a sip from Love's sweet cup,

    So for now, I'll keep on wishing,
    Cuz all things aren't what they seem,
    Maybe one day I'll love for real,
    instead of loving in a dream...

    Submitted on 2007-06-13 21:58:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very Sweet. It has almost a nursery rhyme feeling to it. probably because of the beautiful flow, especially with the last two lines
    'Maybe one day I'll love for real,
    instead of loving in a dream...'
    They stood out the most to me, because the flow and wording was beautiful and also it tied in nicely with the title.

    I only saw one line that spolied the poem's rhythem 'and take a sip from Love's sweet cup'. It has too many sylaballs, so didn't seem to quite fit. I suggest removing the 'and' which would help the flow a little.

    (By the way; you used the wrong type of your for 'laugh, smile and your in love'. It should be you're)

    Overall, a very beautiful poem that captured love well...I think. (Never been in love, just met people who claim to be, so I can't say for sure)
    | Posted on 2007-06-14 00:00:00 | by AteMyBackpack | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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