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    dots Submission Name: I thought you said ...dots

    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1089
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 343

       Jase, thanks for your help with the italics. I thought of this silly idea when I was reading a line in a poem without my glasses on. The line was "...your dog's ears flapping in the breeze," but without my glasses it looked like CARS instead of ears. Sorry for the explanation, but I don't think it will make any sense to anyone otherwise. And we all know that poetry MUST make sense!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI thought you said ...dots

    Aging, your eyesight starts to blur;
    Your hearing fades fast.
    On the fringe of a surreal twilight zone-
    where a dog’s cars go flapping in the breeze,
    you answer every Fuck you
    with You’re welcome.

    Submitted on 2007-06-14 00:11:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh crap, I'm afraid that I am getting old enough where all of this nonsense makes perfect sense. Heaven help me and you!!!!!
    | Posted on 2007-09-09 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm gonna start doing that now. Answer every "[censored] you" with "you're welcome", that'll be fun. Short and good. Even with the explanation, I think the dog's cars line is still random. But if it's what inspired you to write the poem then, by all means, leave it. But hell, what do I know, it's your poem.

    And weed for all!
    | Posted on 2007-06-14 00:00:00 | by Magic Dragon | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. The idea of replying 'thank you' to and insult just seemed amusing. Don't quite get the line 'where a dog’s cars go flapping in the breeze '. I expect it's supposed to be non-sense making, but it seems a little bit too random.
    Also, I don't get the title either. I don't really see the link with the poem. I'm sure there must be some link but I can't see what.
    Dunno about starting the first three lines with 'your/you're' works well. It seems to dull the opening a little because it seems more like a list.
    Although, I like the narrative being 'you'. It makes a change from 'I', which most poems seem to be in.

    Oh, and congrats at making it to your 50th post!
    | Posted on 2007-06-14 00:00:00 | by AteMyBackpack | [ Reply to This ]

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