Keeper of my heart by aNNmARIE

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Submission Name: Keeper of my heart dots

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Author:	aNNmARIE
ASL Info:	20/female/ unknown
Elite Ratio:	5.62 - 85/50/19
Words:	108

Class/Type:	Poetry/Childrens
Total Views:	156
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	625

Description:
To Hannah, my two year old little girl. Without her life just would'nt be worth living!

Keeper of my heart dots

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You are the apple of my eye
The keeper of my heart
The wings that help my fly
The glue that stops my heart from falling apart

You keep me alive
When all else seem's dull and blue
You walk in wearing my high heal shoes
You help me survive

You save me from me
Just you, just my little girl
I will live every day to make you happy
You are my million, my gold, my pearl

You are the apple of my eye
The keeper of my heart
The wings that help me fly
The glue that stops my heart from falling apart

Submitted on 2007-06-16 12:51:21 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  You'll have to ignore all the clichés......I kinda did that on purpose....

The apple of my eye
My one in a million

ect....
| Posted on 2008-10-21 00:00:00 | by aNNmARIE | [ Reply to This ]
  Other than a few cliché moments, which have been mentioned by previous commentors, I really enjoyed this. I'm not a fan of clichés, but you used them effectively.

Just one possible spelling error, "high heal shoes", did you mean heel?

I don't have any children, I way to young to think about it yet (I'm only 19), but I still found this to be wonderful to read from a daughter's perspective. Thank you for sharing.

- Astair
| Posted on 2007-12-19 00:00:00 | by Astair | [ Reply to This ]
  i felt happiness as i read your poem,happy for you that you feel this way about your daughter.your daughter is lucky to have such a caring loving mother,there are others who don,t have this much luck.

You are the apple of my eye
The keeper of my heart
The wings that help my fly
The glue that stops my heart from falling apart

i think apple of my eye is a bit cliché, (but then again we all know what it means so who cares.)the rest is good though, i like the line with the glue.(i get the overall feeling of a strong bond between the both of you).i enjoyed reading your poem,yes joyful, not too many of them around on this site.
ps.
my son is 3years old,so i can relate to the feelings being "transmitted" from your work, i feel this way about him too.yes the apple of my eye,i suppose there is not a better way to sum that up.lol
thanks for the read and the happy feelings
take care

| Posted on 2007-12-05 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]
  This was beautiful. That's all I can really say. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

Saint Raxor
| Posted on 2007-06-16 00:00:00 | by brknprclndol | [ Reply to This ]
  It is lovely, ... beautiful...
"You save me from me"
This little expression is so meaningful... an excellent poem in all its simplicity....Wonderful title...

Keep expressing such beautiful sweet joys.

PS: Writing advice... I didn't see that earlier... at least this piece is impeccable or if I have to say something... i know it is glue in the last line.
| Posted on 2007-06-16 00:00:00 | by Parul garg | [ Reply to This ]

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