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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sweet Southwestern Earthdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sheakhan
    ASL Info:    22/M/FL
    Elite Ratio:    5.66 - 167/183/82
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 264
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 775



    Description:
       kookookachoo


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSweet Southwestern Earthdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rain falls on the parched southwest
    as she tries to remain
    as hard and dry and stubborn
    as she has always been.
    And if she has her way
    she'll not accept a drop.
    She'll keep her plains and
    deserts dry and hot.

    Well the skies keep getting darker
    as does sweet southwestern earth
    Yet she doesn't see the merit,
    or what good ol' change is worth.
    So she'll keep her head held high-up
    as her hair is watered down.
    And never accept change is coming
    to her sweet southwestern ground.

    But that's all she needs.
    Oh oh why can't she see?
    She just needs that change to come,
    just needs a change to come.




    Submitted on 2007-06-16 13:50:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I surprisingly like the use of the half-rhymes (drop/hot, down/ground), if only because you actually followed through the whole piece using a rhyme scheme. Meter, of course, eludes you, but it's not always necessary and you show that.

    I like how you've twisted the image of coldness and frigidity into something barren and hot, a nice counterbalance between the nature of peoples and places in their respective "droughts"

    Mmm, but why does the sky rain on her?
    | Posted on 2007-07-23 00:00:00 | by secretpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      i cant wait to dance with you in the rain in the northwest :D

    i really like this piece a lot and how you used personification.
    thats always my favorite kind of poetry to read.



    i think that she needs to stop being so naive and let the rain come falling down for you.








    carpe diem babe. dont forget that phrase.
    | Posted on 2007-07-16 00:00:00 | by autumnflame | [ Reply to This ]


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