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    dots Submission Name: Inner sabateourdots

    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1227


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInner sabateourdots

    Lies, lies, all lies
    slithering into my consciousness
    with stealth and...
    oh so much cunning.

    Truth twister.

    Smooth tongued
    Raping me of my future
    in the name of safety.

    Oh so believable
    in a brainwashing kinda way.

    Doubt creator,
    Aiming to convince
    that moving an inch
    will result in damnation.

    Foolish tongue.
    All that flapping
    has made me take note of you.
    Press play
    and its the same old tape,
    playing over and over and

    IT'S OVER!

    Choice is the flip of a coin.
    Will I choose to listen to your tales,
    or do I take charge of my head
    and lead from the heart?

    Even with evidence to the contrary
    I still ate of your lies!
    Well NO MORE!

    I put a spanner in your works,
    A spoke in your wheel.
    Unwatered plants wither and die.

    Time to DIE
    little sabateour.

    I bless you with love
    and let go.

    Submitted on 2007-06-16 17:54:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hi kate,

    You have an eloquent way of describing how we get hooked.
    It's funny, these attributes are so common to any poet, though we use them in positive ways.

    I see the president of the US, and a love I've had, maybe a salesman or two in these lines. And like how you've advised
    us to listen to our own hearts and use our own minds.

    The rhyme is both internal and end line, and it's great.
    Beautiful work, very well crafted Kate.



    | Posted on 2007-08-30 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, what a rollicking jolly good ol' piece this one is! to say that i didnt enjoy it would be a lie. seriously, i really did. the words just rolled off my tongue and the way things were delivered was very novel and had a great punchy theme to it with an up tempo beat that one might even dance to if one were so inclined.

    it has all the right ingredients in it, with enough wit, angst and much much more.

    our own personal battles with our respective egos might never end. and until we can find harmony within ourselves, we shall fail at kicking so much ass. sad but true.

    in the meantime, all we can do about it is to simply chronicle pieces and bits from the skirmish. so who's been winning lately? has your inner saboteur finally brought down your castles in the sky and personal empires with devices of self-doubt set to detonate? hmmm.. it seems you have let go, so how goes the cease-fire?

    or have you conceded? meh. who knows. not me. love the piece.

    just to pick it out so your own saboteur cant throw it at you...

    "Even with evidence to the contrary
    I still ate "all" of your lies!
    Well NO MORE!"


    did you know that the word saboteur comes from wooden shoes?
    | Posted on 2007-07-12 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with that annmarie person...lol she basicaly said everything that i was thinking to say so all ill say is "agreed"

    great write
    God bless and good luck with ur future writeings
    | Posted on 2007-06-24 00:00:00 | by eagle wing | [ Reply to This ]
      wOW! VERY NICE! I really liked this poem! What was it based on to me it seem's almost part adam and eve and then part your story. THe poem was very clear and the feelings were eminating off the page,
    great work
    | Posted on 2007-06-16 00:00:00 | by aNNmARIE | [ Reply to This ]

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