Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

"She has been through hell".

Author: Magger32
ASL Info:    18-female-PA.
Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 53 /131 /124
Words: 131
Class/Type: Poetry /The pain inside
Total Views: 1143
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 893


I feel like i am viewed by others harshly because of my past. I am a dark angle that has been thrown from heaven, because i have been through hell.

"She has been through hell".

She is the girl who does not rush,
she is a ghost,
Floating by anger,
She is unlike most,
With her eyes,
As dark as the night sky,
Her tears roll slowly by,
NObody understands the hell,
She has been born into,
She is silent,
Even as she is beaten to the floor,
She is promised that through abuse,
She is adored,
He hates her,
He loves her,
She's falling apart,
She swares every blow she recieves,
Stops her heart,
Hit again,
Over the head,
She can't take it anymore,
She needs to run away,
Or continue to lay on the floor,
She feels so used once more,
Like a fallen angel,
Who has served god well,
Thrown away so time can not tell,
She has been through hell,

Submitted on 2007-06-17 12:11:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Honestly, if you are viewed harshly by others because of this past, then the people who judge you are idiots. You should not be viewed this way and if you got out of it, then you are braver than most females out there. There are so many abused relationship out there, that what most people do is stay in them because they think they will end up in the same place all the time. But that's not the way of living and if you have realized that, than you are an amazing person.
You've been through hell, yes, but you are not a fallen angel. Sometimes, in the world that we live in, we wonder why God is punishing us and we curse him for putting us there but if you really look at it, everything is a test. If you have the power to succeed this challenge and if you have to strength to believe in yourself, then you will come out of this hell and you will become the best that you can be.

I won't comment on the structure of the piece because i feel you need more to see what people have to tell you personally than the way you've written it.

I wish you all the best in whatever you do and Cheers,

| Posted on 2007-06-18 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
  Very powerful piece. I was also going to mention that it might be difficult to get comments on each piece that you've posted all at once, if for no other reason than many people such as myself do not have a lot of free time to cover all while at some point they advance out of the comment que.

I might also mention that if the story of abuse is true, it is a crime both literally and figuratively that has a way of continuing and increasing until acted upon by an outside force (like jail). Continuing in abuse is a mental illness of both parties. There is a better world than that.

| Posted on 2007-06-18 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?