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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sunday Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 883
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 666



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSunday Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The morning sky tickles me with clouds
    It stares down at me with a big amber eye
    The wind blows on me
    As hot and wet as the breath of a bear
    It tangles my already knotted mane...
    Walking to your house
    I trip over the cracks in the sidewalk
    I feel that bored sadness
    That Sundays always bring
    My heart dreams of Saturdays in springtime--
    Back at your house
    We drink cold, saccharine coffee
    We watch a movie
    And fall asleep on the sofa
    In each other's arms--
    Sundays fall away
    Sundays become years
    But they never change






    Submitted on 2004-02-03 04:58:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      if you think of the mood you have created with lines 1-3; its opressive yet with a soft touch, then the next two lines are opressive but with a reaching claw across our face, just seems to contradict....
    immakingnosensenosenseisnonsense....
    | Posted on 2004-02-03 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmmm just not sure, imagine the breath of a bear on your face. it would stink of salmon. it would wet your face. it would be gaseous just think the 2 lines as a whole feel out of place but that is not to say you should change it its just my thoughts on your page...
    if the air really felt that mingin then who am i to say.... and i could not even begin to think of a replacement...
    | Posted on 2004-02-03 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      maybe youre not!!;-).........................................................................
    | Posted on 2004-02-03 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]


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    1451

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