[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Embracing The Ghostdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 587
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 706

       Just something I wrote

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmbracing The Ghostdots

    I remember how you once touched my skin
    And how it felt to kiss your lips
    Few sensations have ever compared
    To your hands upon my hips

    Your skin was rough, and mine so soft
    A pairing to drive someone out of their mind
    The poetry that you and I made together
    Is something I can no longer find

    Love was mentioned, but I wonder
    If it was something we ever had
    Or were we just the heat from our bodies,
    The combustion that drove us mad?

    It seems that when I long for the past
    Your body is what I miss the most
    Are you somewhere else, equally disturbed
    Your arms embracing my ghost?

    Submitted on 2007-06-19 21:36:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love this,
    It reminded me of first kisses, first love.....
    I fasion myself a manly man and this poem made me feel emotion, I don't know why, it just hit home.
    I'm going to take this with me,
    | Posted on 2007-09-27 00:00:00 | by Spin | [ Reply to This ]
      Ehh, interesting(haha, only word I could describe this piece).

    My favorite part was:

    "The poetry that you and I made together
    Is something I can no longer find"

    I love that line, it could mean so much.

    But this part:

    "The combustion that drove us mad?"

    The word 'combustion' makes it sound, I don't know. Just not as beautiful as the whole piece.
    Ehh, you could use words like 'limit', 'emotions' anything really.

    Good work, thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2007-09-23 00:00:00 | by emoxday | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely, highly poetical and so very excellent... a wonderful lover's lament so ably done .... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-06-22 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Records I written by Raphael
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]