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    dots Submission Name: Embracing The Ghostdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 620
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 706

       Just something I wrote

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmbracing The Ghostdots

    I remember how you once touched my skin
    And how it felt to kiss your lips
    Few sensations have ever compared
    To your hands upon my hips

    Your skin was rough, and mine so soft
    A pairing to drive someone out of their mind
    The poetry that you and I made together
    Is something I can no longer find

    Love was mentioned, but I wonder
    If it was something we ever had
    Or were we just the heat from our bodies,
    The combustion that drove us mad?

    It seems that when I long for the past
    Your body is what I miss the most
    Are you somewhere else, equally disturbed
    Your arms embracing my ghost?

    Submitted on 2007-06-19 21:36:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love this,
    It reminded me of first kisses, first love.....
    I fasion myself a manly man and this poem made me feel emotion, I don't know why, it just hit home.
    I'm going to take this with me,
    | Posted on 2007-09-27 00:00:00 | by Spin | [ Reply to This ]
      Ehh, interesting(haha, only word I could describe this piece).

    My favorite part was:

    "The poetry that you and I made together
    Is something I can no longer find"

    I love that line, it could mean so much.

    But this part:

    "The combustion that drove us mad?"

    The word 'combustion' makes it sound, I don't know. Just not as beautiful as the whole piece.
    Ehh, you could use words like 'limit', 'emotions' anything really.

    Good work, thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2007-09-23 00:00:00 | by emoxday | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely, highly poetical and so very excellent... a wonderful lover's lament so ably done .... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-06-22 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

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