Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mother's Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EbonyBlood
    ASL Info:    14/F/Can.
    Elite Ratio:    3.7 - 79/79/73
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 743
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 933



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMother's Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hold your anger in my child
    Hold in your pain and so you shall here from the other kids who play
    I'll love you more than anything that world can ever compare
    I'll watch you grow and die no matter where I am
    I'll see you dye your hair black and see you apply make up for the first time, I'll see your prom, your date, and tape your broken heart
    I'll always be there even when you can't see me, I'll always love you even if you can't hear me
    I can't express the way I love you, and I can never tell you when I'm angry I'm scared
    I am scared to lose you to the scary world outside
    I always loved you, and I still love you now
    It broke my heart to see those tears roll down from your eyes
    I'm sorry I left you, but my time has come but no matter where I am I will always love you even after my life is done.




    Submitted on 2007-06-19 21:54:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I must admit i enjoyed your ghost heart better. Still this piece made me think of my mother in that capacity but not as strongly as yours. i admire this dedication to your mother or to some sort of motherhood. In any case i wished you used some imagery like ive seen you done before whcih would help you illustrate this more. Still your the author and you write what you want to write. It just seems to be dry to me after seeing your pervious work.

    Fine Job :)
    | Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by Seraphim X | [ Reply to This ]
      amazing write!!! i would write a reply or more of the daughters side of it! its amazing... its so beautiful because u have mentioned such amazing things that a mother would feel but no one had ever come to realize..
    my fav line is.' I am scared to lose you to the scary world outside'..it almost brought tears to my eyes!
    keep up the good work!

    | Posted on 2007-06-20 00:00:00 | by sharu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    145159

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry