Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waited Too Longdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 503
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1156



    Description:
       i wrote this for someone else. i got a piece about him way earlier in my writings on this site but we met up again and i had to let him know that i didnt really come up here for him. i used to think i loved him. but i look back at it and i see what i got now, that was high school shit compared to now. im too good to allow myself to still be stuck with those other guys....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaited Too Longdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I fell in love,
    But we fell out too quick.
    One night stand,
    Wasnt that thick.

    Nothing to hide,
    But the lies in your heart.
    Nothing was earned,
    But we still fell apart.

    Years after days,
    And still you kept watch.
    Wasn't 'til I came back,
    That you had a second shot.

    But then I turned around,
    And I saw what I had.
    I had to be real,
    I said I got a man.

    You said it didnt matter.
    No one had to know.
    But I said it wouldnt happen,
    Look what i got to show.

    Love all around me.
    Someone else who cares.
    You couldnt even touch this,
    He told me not to share.

    You waited to long,
    It's not gonna work.
    What else could I say?
    I was just there to flirt.

    So two years later,
    You want to try again.
    But I already told you,
    We're just good friends.

    At one point in life,
    You were the one that I loved.
    But after so long,
    I already got a glove.




    Submitted on 2007-06-21 17:06:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a great piece. THe flow is great and your worlding is amazing. I think Bobby K is right about this having the makings of a song. The meaning behind this shows alot, great piece. Keep writing.


    Sarah
    | Posted on 2007-06-22 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure, are you telling a story or sending a mesage? This has the makings of song, and I think the fourth stanza could be a little smoother.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    145253

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Legends written by poetotoe
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry