Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waited Too Longdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 493
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1156



    Description:
       i wrote this for someone else. i got a piece about him way earlier in my writings on this site but we met up again and i had to let him know that i didnt really come up here for him. i used to think i loved him. but i look back at it and i see what i got now, that was high school shit compared to now. im too good to allow myself to still be stuck with those other guys....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaited Too Longdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I fell in love,
    But we fell out too quick.
    One night stand,
    Wasnt that thick.

    Nothing to hide,
    But the lies in your heart.
    Nothing was earned,
    But we still fell apart.

    Years after days,
    And still you kept watch.
    Wasn't 'til I came back,
    That you had a second shot.

    But then I turned around,
    And I saw what I had.
    I had to be real,
    I said I got a man.

    You said it didnt matter.
    No one had to know.
    But I said it wouldnt happen,
    Look what i got to show.

    Love all around me.
    Someone else who cares.
    You couldnt even touch this,
    He told me not to share.

    You waited to long,
    It's not gonna work.
    What else could I say?
    I was just there to flirt.

    So two years later,
    You want to try again.
    But I already told you,
    We're just good friends.

    At one point in life,
    You were the one that I loved.
    But after so long,
    I already got a glove.




    Submitted on 2007-06-21 17:06:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a great piece. THe flow is great and your worlding is amazing. I think Bobby K is right about this having the makings of a song. The meaning behind this shows alot, great piece. Keep writing.


    Sarah
    | Posted on 2007-06-22 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure, are you telling a story or sending a mesage? This has the makings of song, and I think the fourth stanza could be a little smoother.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    145253

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    untitled written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry