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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ink on......dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 884
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 975



    Description:
       This is dedicated to our own inkonspikuous.
    This was her idea for my swan song, maybe it will be, maybe not.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInk on......dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I used to write,
    I saw my mind upon a sheet as blank as morning starlight
    I used to talk
    To tell the story of a life to those whom read the words.

    Yet times are slow and long is gone
    The confidence in me.
    What little I had here inside
    Of mirrored self esteem.

    I used to write,
    A million lines ran behind these eyes.
    I thought.. once.
    Unknown amounts, I never learned.

    The well has dried, to quote cliché
    The depth inside, has gone away
    The words stare back, with naught to say

    Whatever ideas or talents were there,
    Grew up and blew off,
    In a wisp of stale cardboard air.
    The page stares back as if to say
    "I don't know you, leave me be"

    I used to write
    I saw my mind upon a sheet as blank as morning starlight
    Those words could talk

    They speak no more




    Submitted on 2007-06-22 18:25:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nah, you ain't going anywhere. You may have hit a flat spot but something that means as much to you as your writing doesn't just dry up and blow away. You still have much to say and we will all be here to share in your reverie.

    Take a long slow walk in comfortable surroundings and you will see that I am right. Write on brother, write on.
    | Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      they speak no more

    i feel these last lines speak volumes for this piece but i dont think this is the last hurrah...

    i do think you need to connect more with the reader when you write.
    find images that say what you want to say and make them sharp so that the reader can understand what it is and what perspective you write from.

    right now this piece isnt really saying anything.


    what was different back when you used to write? were you in love? what was your inspiration?

    and what happened to make writing seems so arduous? where did the words go? do you want them to come back?

    i think, if spikuous was a real word, the title is a good idea... a play on words which has the potential to be quite witty but i think you need to bring it into the piece more... at the moment it seems quite unrelated to the content.

    i think you could do more with this piece.
    | Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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