Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Some days I feel

Author: darkwiccan14
Elite Ratio:    1.6 - 125 /125 /88
Words: 153
Class/Type: Poetry /Being a Teen
Total Views: 1138
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1021


How i feel over all the happiness I once had...

Some days I feel

Some days I feel like,
Chuckinig this whoe life thing,
Down the drain to where all,
Useless things go.

Some days I feel like,
Who'd care if i were gone,
Away for ever from this place,
Cause this city blows.

Where's everyone I once knew,

Why haven't I've been able to talk to them,
As if they were still in this thing I call,
My life?

I write this poem,
As in not as song,
But as a poem in questions,
Before the grim comes for me with his shining,

Some days I feel like,
Feeling chipper and nice,
Not all this bleak and misery,
Where it's found in the darkest part,
Of my heart.

I've never known that side until this,
Year when my true ambitions shown,
And now when I enter the new year,
I'll have a chance to once again,

Submitted on 2007-06-24 18:58:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  it's pretty good and something i think that many people can relate to. however i think the middle part sounds a little forced. like it was a last minute arrival. you've got talent but you need to let it flow naturally.
| Posted on 2007-06-25 00:00:00 | by sarcasticmute | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?