Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Messages sent on the winddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poppi
    Elite Ratio:    7.47 - 72/55/37
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 948
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 617



    Description:
       working on free verse and i need to find something to reallly inspire me to write another story


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMessages sent on the winddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Alone in a field
    The man sits
    But whole heartedly,
    He talks to the wind
    whispering secrets passed.....

    The whiporwill listens in,
    And aslo talks to the wind
    The message sent back.
    A smiling face
    With lips unchanged

    Worn by time,
    From tails of a life
    Spent with eternity.
    But never being at all
    As every lie lives on

    Today though, even love wont fade
    Ignoring the inwards anger
    A place not recognized
    Sunshine, a taste of freedom
    Even clouds wont touch this sky




    Submitted on 2007-06-26 18:54:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this was a great try at free verse. You made every line come together well in this piece. Full of good imagery and flow. I like the title of the poem, it drew me in. My favorite part of all "Even clouds won't touch this sky". I thought that line was just simply amazing. I enjoyed the story being told here. Thanks for the share of this wonderful piece. Good day to ya and good luck with all your writing!

    ~Gigglebox
    | Posted on 2007-06-27 00:00:00 | by gigglebox | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    145582

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Push written by JanePlane
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry