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Author: OrangeWithWhite
ASL Info:    27/m/Buf NY
Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 41 /48 /11
Words: 62
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1017
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 370



No more father to hit me,
No more listening to my mom take the abuse,
No more worrying about my brother,
No more need for sports to keep me away.
No more locking myself in my room,
No more screaming lyrics to the radio
No more scars from myself
No more cleaning up every night
No more wishing this wasn’t my life

Submitted on 2007-06-28 21:49:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Speaking the way life treats you and you are letting everything out in the open. write from the heart and give your all. excellent piece. don't change for no one.
| Posted on 2008-07-18 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]
  this is quite hilarious. Also, from it, we can tell that your mode is pessimistic. I enjoy that. You simply said what there is not, what there is not, what there is not. You never ONCE said what there IS. That makes this poem quite vague. Sure, it means that there is none of that, but did it move from that to something darker and more sinister, or to something happy and lovely? To be honest, this poem is more of a rant. I believe i would classify it as an emo rant. Quite hilarious indeed.
| Posted on 2007-06-28 00:00:00 | by Old | [ Reply to This ]
  why is there no more?
is this a suicide note in the making?
have you moved out of home?
why is there the liberation of no more all of a sudden?

i think there are prolly more creative ways of expressing this situation but i myself have not managed to find one and i have tried and tried and tried.

my mother has married 4 times. her third husband... kill a rat... living at his place was exactly like you described in this piece though i only lived there for 6 months before my mother feared for both her and my safety and she left him. and it took a long time after moving out from his place to feel safe again. i guess when you have such upset in your home which is sposed to be the place you can go and be safe it is hard for everything else to be okay...

i still suck at sleeping some 12 years later [though ive always sucked at sleeping and now im sure its just habit more than anything] because they would always fight after i had supposedly gone to sleep [though who were they fooling thinking anyone could sleep through that screaming!?] and i would lay awake worried to death that he would hurt her somehow...

id be interested for you to write in this piece why/how "NO MORE" has come to fruition.
i think you could prolly present this in a more creative means and yet if this were a protest with plaquards and screaming this is exactly how it would sound...

good luck.
take care

| Posted on 2007-06-28 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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