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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Between Life and Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 648
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1154



    Description:
       Neither the title or poem are literal. Between life and death means...
    I want you to tell me what it means. Send me a PM and tell the meaning. those who are correct will get 5 comments on their posts and the first 2 to get it exact will get stalked.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBetween Life and Deathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I run from the light,
    and hide from the dark.
    I have no home,
    no bite and less bark.
    Life wants to kill me,
    Death wants to take me.
    I'm stuck in this place,
    what might my fate be?
    Always hunted,
    never the hunter.
    Always a coward,
    fear pulls me under.
    I've lost all I love,
    in self-pity I wallow.
    I have nothing left,
    I'm drowning in sorrow.
    The sun brings me pain,
    night brings more fear.
    I will continue,
    for all I hold dear.
    Never will I quit,
    Never will I fall.
    In spite of the world,
    I will survive all.
    Pain has no meaning,
    I will not be detered
    Even in agony,
    I'll utter no word.
    My silence is solid,
    'till the battle is won.
    My end is nigh,
    the chase is now done.
    I will fight back,
    the time is now come.
    The steady beat of my heart
    blends to a hum.
    Between Life and Death,
    I've run from this fight.
    My vengence is now,
    It ends tonight.




    Submitted on 2007-06-28 22:53:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      This was a great poem. It flowed perfectly and i got good imagery from this. Great job!
    | Posted on 2007-07-31 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]
      you seem to me to be repeating yourself a lot through this piece but you dont actually give very much insight through your words/repetitions what it is you are intending to tell us.

    between life and death...
    i went to a funeral once where the celebrant told us to look at this persons funeral sheet thing and on the front it said their name and then say 19/08/38 - 26/02/04 and the celebrant said that we hadnt really come to talk about when this person was born nor had we come to talk about when/how they died... we had gathered together because we had all been affected by the way they lived their life... and all their life was represented by was a little -
    i thought that was an interesting idea and so when i think of your title thats what i think...


    in regards to the piece itself.
    i think you should decide whether you want to rhyme or not. there are places that seem to rhyme and then there are places that dont. i think you should prolly choose either or.

    if you have a specific point you should prolly try to be more intent on telling what it is rather than sounding pretty [because indeed your words flow well and run me through this piece at a crazy speed]

    perhaps you write of the fight between life and death... both wanting you... which one will get you... some kinda show down.
    but i am reluctant to think this because at the start of the piece you said that life doesnt want you and that death does which, in my mind, gives you a greater chance of dying than living...

    anyways... i think you could do more with this piece but i hope someone caught on to what it was you were intending with this write
    | Posted on 2007-07-16 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is really good. great job on this.
    | Posted on 2007-07-15 00:00:00 | by naruto lover | [ Reply to This ]
      ~*~

    :) Hello. I will not try to guess. Truly, once you interpret the poem it does tend to lose some of it's charm which lies in the possibility to interpret one in plenty of ways, to challenge the imagination. But I must tell you one thing. This is written with excellence, brilliant rhyming and a terrific atmosphere. It's been a long time since I've seen you write anything nearly as good. I suggest you proceed the way you're headed with this kind of writing style.

    ~*~
    | Posted on 2007-07-09 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      NICE [censored]IN POEM
    | Posted on 2007-06-30 00:00:00 | by TwistedMinded | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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