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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Walk Softlydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 604
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 341



    Description:
       My brother, who is an awesome artist, is in jail until Sept. and he sends me great letters with outstanding pics drawn on the envelope - I try to write a poem for each pic - this one was a Zebra.

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share

    tif


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWalk Softlydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Walk softly ~ in between the shadow and the light
    One half black
    One half white
    Washed clean
    Asin,
    Patterned after
    Men...
    Men in hunt
    of grace
    tHE striped look
    upon the face;
    of Life
    Read between the lines
    upon the Zebra
    the Lion
    dines




    Submitted on 2007-06-28 22:57:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Quite unusual.

    There's creative thinking behind teh lines too.....poetic and interesting.

    The best part is that this is short and sweet
    .........that suits the matter of the poem.

    Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2007-11-30 00:00:00 | by mdsouza | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the poem as a whole I just didn't get what the lines/ strpes of the zebra had to do with a dining lion. Anyway It'd be more likely to be eaten by a leppord. Lepords love zebra meat more than any other kind. But lion is easier to rhyme with and it goes with the assoncial style of the piece. Thanks for the read. I'm going to bed now. the sun is rising fast.
    | Posted on 2007-07-14 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      LIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Run Zebra Run!

    I thought this poem was a fun and creative way to view zebras. I always love a poem with broken flow and rhythm. It is freed from the chains of conformity.

    I think zebras are cool. You know why? Because they are a type of horse! And I love horses!

    I like how you said the zebras walked "in between the shadow and the light", how they were both clean and sinful. Interesting outlook.

    Nice work Tiff!
    | Posted on 2007-07-04 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      The title caught me, because of the Yeats (i think its yeats poem) Aeda ask for the garments of heaven, or whatever its called, where upon the line...tread softly, for you tread on my dreams, occurs. Amazing poem, but anyways back to yours.

    I am impressed with how much you did with a drawing of a zebra. I have always been impressed by a random unartistic subject being put into an artistic light, you did well.

    I loved the first line, the subsequent line breaks were also very well done. I didnt know the word "asin" had to look it up and all I got was the seventh month of the hindu calender (???). So Im lost on that word and line. I like the way you play with the cross between a zebra and a jailbird (that seems to be what is happening to me) both of whom where the black and white stripes (at least traditionally) I think they where orange now in jail, but the analogies were very well done. Great last line in that same vain of thinking.
    | Posted on 2007-06-29 00:00:00 | by leftof_red | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it. i wish my brother sent me pictures of zebras... but he only knows how to draw spyro the dragon, good job.





    tina
    | Posted on 2007-06-29 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel the yin yang flow of this one. What a cool way to interpret the zebra. Even time's edge moves us through experiences of black then white, so it's a perfect metaphor for growth.

    Funny thing though, I think you have to discover grey before any colors emerges. Don't but maybe I'm thinking like the rhythmic philospher?

    This is fun, Tif and blessings to your brother too,

    Love,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2007-06-29 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I am sure your brother would enjoy reading this, just as I did.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2007-06-29 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      You just never know where your next inspiration is going to come from. The content of this piece was quite surreal and yet quite interesting.
    | Posted on 2007-06-29 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]


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