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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What Dreams Come from Nothing Pt. 1dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ollie_wicked
    ASL Info:    27?FEarth
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 320/200/90
    Words: 756
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4177



    Description:
       Umm, I like this story, and can see it play out in my head. However, i wish to know if i should even pursue it? Comments?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat Dreams Come from Nothing Pt. 1dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Two adolescent boys played in a barren road to nowhere in particular. They lived in a town called Nothing. In this stretch of endless hills and dirt roads, lived 353 lifeless people. Every person in this town of Nothing, wore an expression of exasperation and as if day were just a job.
    These two adolescent boys were no different. They lazily let the baseball touch the desolate earth without effort of catching it, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And each night they would come inside when their mothers called. This would be their only time for excitement.
    Danny, the 11 year old, would see his transformers and dog with contempt. He hurried through his nighttime routine of washing for supper, saying grace, eating, and washing for bed. As the Cedar family prayed, they held clammy hands and said words. These words were nor coveted nor honored, but said with machine-cold like voices. And as you and I would tell expectant parents of our days, the Cedar family ate with an air of silence of as frigid as steel. They looked at no one and just filled their mouths with a mush they called food.
    Danny didnít even question this cold, void routine, for everyone in his town of nothing did exactly the same. Day in and day out they nourished themselves in wait for the splendor of sleep.
    After finishing his nighttime routine, Danny didnít falter to rush into bed with equally excited parents on his heel. They rush and threw covers over him. Almost running to exit, shut the light out and mumbled some incoherent phrase, shutting the door, cutting the light. The Cedar parents touched their faces together and closed their eyes to the timeless escape.
    Cynthia the older sister of 16 fell into a deep slumber at the same moment both her elders and younger sibling fell. Cynthia finally met again to her medieval world of Lords, Ladies, and Peasants. She, herself a peasant with high expectations of her future, didnít even toss as she lived this fantasy. Most people in her dreams were faceless and nameless. Only a select few were worth imagining to her. She had a best friend, also a peasant, Maggie. Maggie was always strong and stoic, while Cynthia was more timid and observant. Maggie would always introduce her to wonderfully interesting people, only to fade out. There was Sam, the goat herderís son, who was an Arian boy. But upon entering a conversation with Sam, she soon learned that Sam lacked the gift of an opinion. And he soon faded into one of the faceless people. After this he would only remain a boy with blonde hair, no eyes, no nose, and no mouth.
    Cynthia and Maggie were milkmaids who delivered to the royal chambers because of their youth and beauty. Within the first week they spotted the prince at the peak of his youth. He was sitting off to himself by his window over looking the lush wood that encircled the village, whispering to himself. Prince Louis Imort was a fair-skinned boy of 21 with brown hair, short and kept. His eyes were a darker shade of brown. He was tall and splendor, a forlorn fairy, to Cynthia. They delivered his milk, he then got up, waived his hand in the direction of the door. Cynthia and Maggie were gone.
    While leaving, all Maggie could do was talk of how their Lord was detestable, ill mannered, ingrate, undeserving of the love of the people. Cynthia only stared ahead, ingraining his image into her head. She thought how elegant his features were and how royal he acted.
    Danny was flying high above Nothing. Seeing it as the rural, desolate cemetery it was. He twirled in the crisp air of the night. He felt so alive feeling the air swirl through his hair, touching the stars, tasting them. Suddenly Vince, his 12-year-old friend, pushed him into the moon. Quickly laughing then zooming away. Danny, unable to feel the pain of the unreal, braced himself against his crater and blasted after Vince. They flew around Saturn, hovering above the rings, tagging one another. Vince asked Danny, ďWhere will we go tomorrow?Ē Danny replied, ďTo another galaxy! We donít belong on Earth any longerĒ.




    Submitted on 2007-06-29 01:11:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it was good. SEE SEE THE COMMENT. ho.
    anyhow, it is a good story to a point. the first part is EXTREMELY well written because you can feel the dull grey color of this hideously dull world. but the girls dream i couldve deffinately gotten more out of. and the boy....i think you couldve done better with the dreams because the story is in the dreams. its kind of like you described the dullness so well that the vibrancy of the dreams should have really offset it but they didnt. they almost blended in.. the shouldve seemed truly extraordinary. :) but this was good work. i just think it couldve been better.
    | Posted on 2007-07-01 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this story, and I can't wait to see another part to it! Yes, it is definatly worth the time to continue it! It does play out in your mind, getting lost within words that turn into a movie after a bit of reading. I can't wait to see what happens next. Great piece, keep writing.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2007-06-29 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]


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