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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Apocalyptica
    Elite Ratio:    6.41 - 79/66/10
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 809
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 425



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Candles and altered states
    silhouettes of bottles line the wall
    where the photographs hang.
    The fading faces of friends
    Long passed
    gaze sullenly through dust
    and broken glass
    at he
    who has given in

    A green suit lays wrinkled in the closet; its badges have lost their shine. The sand remains, and reminds him: The good cause was lost so long ago




    Submitted on 2007-06-29 04:39:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      and im wondering what this good cause was and how your title fits into this piece.

    i like the way you have presented this piece. the way the second part lacks line breaks as if its read together in one breath as quickly as possible so that the point can be made before the sense of hopelessness overwhelms and all is lost...


    your setting of the scene is well done with candles and silhouettes and the photos on the wall.
    i have plans of going to the early settlers museum next week with some kids as it is the school holiday and i run a youth group and have decided that offering them something to do during the holidays could be a boredom busting idea for them...
    now i havent been to this museum for a long time but one thing i remember is this one room full of old old photos all framed with those HUGE old school turn of the 20th century frames... scary looking people with eyes that burn right through you... well if i had those hanging on my wall i would be more than ready to give up.
    but thats not what you have in this piece... its the faces of friends forever memorialised behind glass and dust... and its not that theyre necessarily dead but the time from when the pics were taken is well and truely dead and sometimes... when you realise... well... then you start trying to work out where time went and if youve actually achieved anything...


    hmmm...
    perhaps ignore all of that...
    perhaps use it to build this next idea with...

    realising that army uniforms in some nations have been known to be green with badges that were once so bright and recognized that now seem to mean absolutely nothing this makes me realise that you do not mean vet as in animal doctor but rather as in returned serviceman... a veteran... geeez i can be so damn slow sometimes... please forgive me...

    but the photos of the friends who have gone on before... of those who died on the battle fields or since... of those who truely understand what this vet has lived through... the images in his mind that have haunted him since and the fact that the ideals for which he faught no longer seem to mean anything to those "future generations" he faught with in mind.

    what senseless sacrifice.
    theres an RSA resthome for old men and women who faught in the war just down the road from me and every april 25th there is a dawn service to honour all who have faught for my country...
    we usually go to the dawn service and because my father has connections we are usually at the ex royal navelmans pub by 8am at the latest. i go and sit and watch these returned servicemen and the way they talk and share stories and remember... lest we forget... and i wonder whether they bring out their memories at other times... or whether that right is reserved just for this one day...

    and it is sad that the medals mean nothing now
    and it is sad that the world seems to be without the cause it use to have
    and it is sad that these men and women are no longer recognized

    and the bottles are those of medications i suspect...
    and though it took me a minute to catch on this is a wonderfully constructed and thought out piece
    | Posted on 2007-06-29 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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