Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: shedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: esterhzys
    ASL Info:    35/F/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    2.9 - 48/47/44
    Words: 214
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1195



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsshedots
    -------------------------------------------


    She spent her days playing down the creek.
    Down behind the houses, climb the fence,
    push through the pine trees, tumble down the hill.
    Down there I was all alone, turning over rocks,
    and searching for snakes or frogs.
    I hear someone rustling through the trees.
    I look around there's no one I can see.
    She draws nearer too me,
    Am I not alone?
    This is someone I have pushed away many times before.
    Why does she keep coming back to me?
    It's time I face my fears.
    A little girl walks right by me. Skinned knees.
    She is a little chubby with matted and knotted thin blond hair.
    Her skin is darkened from the sunlight beating her all day
    and maybe some bruises and dirt.
    I followed her down the leaf covered path,
    I'm running after her.
    We are deep into the forest,
    I need to turn back, I am too afraid.
    But then she vanishes before my eyes.
    So, I return to the creek and flip the stones
    Catching water spiders.
    Maybe next time she won't run away and
    maybe next time I can face her




    Submitted on 2007-06-29 15:21:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Fascinating and highly, highly intriguing! This would make an excellent piece of fiction....you draw in the reader wonderfully, the poem is great in that it could mean many, many different things... bravo... bravo... bravo...
    | Posted on 2007-07-20 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      oh wow, i realy like this poem!!! i wrote somethin kinda like this..but yeah i really like this lots...i also like how disriptive it is...you did a lovely job!!! good write good write!!!!
    *kate
    | Posted on 2007-06-30 00:00:00 | by koolness | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    145790

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    untitled written by Chelebel
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    The Promise written by annie0888
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry