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    dots Submission Name: hell, welcome to my worlddots

    Author: EternallyMystic
    ASL Info:    18-F-Mich
    Elite Ratio:    2.05 - 9/18/25
    Words: 294
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 585
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1893


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshell, welcome to my worlddots

    Welcome to hell
    would you like to come in?
    Step over the threshold
    and let the journey begin

    The first thing you do
    is take a step back
    Because hell makes no sense
    and guidance is slack

    So you wander around
    in a place filled with screams
    From the terror that finds it's way
    into your dreams

    There is no escape
    from this place,you know
    You can fight all you want
    but hell won't let go

    You'll look for a light
    but find that there's none
    And you can never undo
    the damage you've done

    So you sell your soul
    in exchange for a deal
    But in hell, deals break
    and there is no appeal

    The peace you were promised
    never enters your mind
    And the end to your nightmares
    you're never to find

    If this sounds like a place
    that you'd like to be
    Take hold of my hand
    and come there with me

    But first, I must warn you
    of that which you'll lose
    So listen carefully
    before you choose

    Your soul is the first thing to go
    then your heart
    And your sanity then
    from you will depart

    Then you're lost and you're lonely
    not knowing your needs
    And it's from this confusion
    that pure evil feeds

    So you sink even lower
    inside of this place
    And you put on a mask
    to cover your face

    So that nobody knows
    the pain that you hide
    And nobody knows
    the place you reside

    And this I can tell you
    with certainty
    Your soul will be lost
    at eternity's cost

    Submitted on 2007-06-30 16:43:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well you see it was and then again at the same time it wasn't deliberate, you see when i write poems they just flow out i don't always think about them or analyze them but there just there if you understand what im trying to say, lol, by the way i like your writing to and thanks for the comment
    | Posted on 2007-07-09 00:00:00 | by EternallyMystic | [ Reply to This ]
      That was great. The imagery in it is powerful and it seems like a place I already know. I especially love the stanza:

    The peace you were promised
    never enters your mind
    And the end to your nightmares
    you're never to find

    Although one query is: with the last stanza, you break the rhyming scheme you seem to have worked so hard to keep to in the rest of the poem. Is that deliberate? And if so, What is its intended effect?

    | Posted on 2007-07-01 00:00:00 | by DBE | [ Reply to This ]

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