[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Damned existencedots

    Author: emoxday
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 113/123/144
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Depressed
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1141

       Well I was reading other peoples poems, and I thought I'd make one about the same thing. but change the idea a little. Its not that great and I think I need to fix it a little. but enjoy. What also helped me was the song "Kyomu No Naka De Yuugi" by Malice Mizer

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDamned existencedots

    Why is the world the way it is?
    melancholy consumes me
    is this reality?

    deep breaths for the cowards
    Is that what I am?
    I can't take the site of
    dying souls everywhere I look
    I can't take this anymore

    I can hear the spirits
    of unjust deaths
    crying out in anguish,
    begging for help

    why is the sky smilling
    when pain is all around
    swollen hands from
    razor blades
    give me the feeling of being

    I still can't escape
    this prison I live
    I want to be innocent agian
    I don't want to know about
    suffering or about
    hate and anger

    I want to escape
    someone set me free
    but no one can hear my muffled cries
    no one can hear there own muffled cries
    even if they tried

    Are the angels crying
    down on us,
    or are we all alone

    Nothing is like it was before
    calamity broke free of it's ties
    right when I opened my eyes,
    to reality

    Submitted on 2007-06-30 18:16:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      its not as bad as you say it is. my favorite stanza:

    I still can't escape
    this prison I live
    I want to be innocent agian
    I don't want to know about
    suffering or about
    hate and anger

    i know what it feel like to wish you could take back your innocence and be like a chicld. not to be afraid of anything... not to be afraid to trust. to know what you like, for sure, not guessing that you like something because maybe it will make you look better. you're a good writer. not the best, of course. but i enjoyed this piece. i invite you to read one of my pieces, love pain and suicide. ive been sending people to it but no one comments. i dont know why. it has good detail. continue in your work, the world will enjoy it someday.

    | Posted on 2007-06-30 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]