I like the choice of words and I think your vocabulary shows that you're quite a talent. I also think the expressions fit right in and the theme is resolved with the proper choice of form and style. This sort of philosophical poetry with a dash of realism is always interesting enough to try your mind at. Good!
Nice. I like how the last stanza just tied everything together(also that it rhymed). The big words are nice to. But this part confused me, well not really but it just sounded kind of wierd:
"No more
Cleanse the world of this sin
No more
Blind the apathetic
No more
Just open your eyes"
to make it understandable maybe you could change it like:
"Cleanse the world of its sin,
Blind the apathetic,
Just open your eyes
And witness your misconceptions"
Well, not exactly like that, but you get the idea or you could just add some commas and semicolons like this:
"No more,
Cleanse the world of this sin;
No more,
Blind the apathetic;
No more,
Just open your eyes"
Yeah, over-all good. I liked stanzas three and four, it is true how our world is slowly decaying into trash. And I like how you said our morals are gone. Good work.
Submission Name: Godlessness
