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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ‘Perfekte Welle’dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LucyDiamond
    ASL Info:    17/F/Sky
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 365/561/240
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 66
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1142



    Description:
       I tried to write something I usually avoid altogether. Was it worth shoving myself into this disastrous mood? Maybe.

    Bitter? Naw.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots‘Perfekte Welle’dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Perfect World’s never seem to last
    in this shriveled old raisin of a universe.
    It’s time to release these burdened thoughts
    and drift off into space into someone else;
    someone better. Someone worth it.
    Let stars fill my eyes and let me know no other.
    The sun seems so eternal
    and the moon so fleeting.

    I had one, once; a Perfect World.
    It bloomed on the crest of spring
    ...and died at the fall of the seasons.
    It seems so long ago, now...
    and I don’t want to remember it.
    But the ushering in of Summer forces it
    as do the words and melodies of songs
    I don’t listen to anymore.

    All year I have refrained from playing them;
    ticking me off and ticking off time
    from my life; my very precious life
    I hold dear to my heart in a heart of gold.

    If you gave me that golden locket,
    I would throw it in the dirt and leave it to die.
    But that would have been too much, for you.
    Now I throw memories of you away for good.
    And this is my Perfect World.




    Submitted on 2007-07-03 03:35:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I love writing bitter poems.
    Because the bitterness seeps from my brain into my neck into my arm into my fingers and out onto the paper and then it's all gone!
    Until it comes back again.

    I really enjoy this line.
    'in this shriveled old raisin of a universe.'

    shriveled fruit is always a wonderful simile. haha.

    But yes, yes, relationships make for wonderful poetry. Even if they are gross and pointless.
    | Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by wovenwords | [ Reply to This ]
      My first thought was soreness. it made me feel quite sore and hurt, it makes me think of how we make ourselves vulnerable and it bites us in the face.

    I got a lot out of:

    “It’s time to release these burdened thoughts
    and drift off into space into someone else;
    someone better. Someone worth it.”

    Mostly it just made me aware of the ache I feel, of unworthiness, of the fact I have so many gifts and I waste them – never use them, like water becoming stagnant. The feelings of guilt, and wastefulness, and of good things becoming quite lost.

    “I don’t listen to anymore.” Hard heartedness replacing openness and vulnerability.

    “Now I throw memories of you away for good.
    And this is my Perfect World.”

    Again, the stiff heart, stubbornly refusing to grieve.

    -Mandolin
    | Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by Mandolin | [ Reply to This ]



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