[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Spirits Flydots

    Author: Blue Monk
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1556/457/118
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1257
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 261

       We'd rather be somewhere else, often as not.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpirits Flydots

    middle of the day
    restless, restless
    failure to focus
    child of predestiny
    bird in a cage
    eyes casting
    pensive or apprehensive
    perception or reality
    who might know
    if spirits can fly

    Submitted on 2007-07-03 15:13:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is pretty meaningful and deep.

    "Child of predestiny
    bird in a cage"

    There are many things about life we cannot change, "Child of predestiny" is a beautiful and apt expression for the constrained but inherently free soul.

    "Eyes casting
    pensive or apprehensive"

    A mixture of fear and agony in the victim's eyes... Wow! i can not only visualise this expression but feel it too. Very impressive.
    | Posted on 2007-11-11 00:00:00 | by Parul garg | [ Reply to This ]
      Blue Monk
    This write tome describes the human life perfectly
    We as a race are too set in the life we now lead and are either afraid or just plain too lazy to do something ANYTHING to help this World obtain Change and move forward in a much happier and Peaceful World
    I must admit I very much enjoy your writes and your quick witted mind in the forum always speaking with truth
    I am quickly becoming a Fan
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      i didn't think monks permitted themselves to want to be elsewhere. isn't 'elsewhere' neither here nor there?

    if you never knew any other place than home would always be where your feet are. catch 22 to be able to imagine that 'other place.'

    sometimes i find it's a frame of mind. it never really is where you are that matters--if you don't have any demons and your heart & brain aren't rotting from malnourishment than you would never find yourself in a place of discontent because the pair would never let you stay there let alone sleep there.

    despite this, we all get there at some point. beady little eyes downcast towards the newspaper at your feet, no way out unless someone else opens up from the outside. the same scenery passing you by everyday and the same effing' food in your tray. your water could stand a change and the least they could do is put the newspaper right side up so as you can pretend to read. we get there and realize we hate it and buy the next flight out. no pun intended.

    if all of that fails throw a blanket over the cage, i find that can work.

    | Posted on 2007-09-24 00:00:00 | by kitsch | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. I like the meaning of the poem and its also very unique.

    bird in a cage
    eyes casting
    pensive or apprehensive
    perception or reality

    those are probably my favorite lines in the poem..no changes to this one. defenitely good job. I also liked ur use of vocabulary , it flowed well together.
    | Posted on 2007-09-01 00:00:00 | by hollybear08 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooo...I liked this and its switchback ways. How things are imbedded and then how the failure to focus distorts the reality.

    Very good write of the modern mindset Lloyd.

    Nice job.
    | Posted on 2007-07-31 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
    Middle of the day
    Restless and restless
    Failure to focus
    Predestined child

    Bird in a cage
    Eyes casting
    Pensive or apprehensive
    Perception or reality
    Who might know
    If spirits can fly

    It is interesting to know that our spirits or minds tend to fly away like free birds but can it be trapped like a caged bird? So few words and yet still very interesting thought. Did a few minor changes. You can either take it into consideration or dispose of it as you choose.
    I enjoyed overall the read.


    | Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the way your form embodied the fractured thinking of a person who feels trapped.

    When a soul feels imprisioned by all the uncontrollable variables in the world, it does give a heart hope to think that spirits may fly above all circumstance to the heights of freedom.

    Well done, Monk.
    | Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      A cage too small to fly within, and even if you escaped the cage, could you understand flight, or have a means to take it. Your foot will fall where its shadow darkens, like a malady one cannot avoid. So why be dissapointed, shadows have their purpose.

    | Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by Mandolin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]