Imbedded
middle of the day
restless, restless
failure to focus
child of predestiny
bird in a cage
eyes casting
pensive or apprehensive
perception or reality
who might know
if spirits can fly
There are many things about life we cannot change, "Child of predestiny" is a beautiful and apt expression for the constrained but inherently free soul.
"Eyes casting
pensive or apprehensive"
A mixture of fear and agony in the victim's eyes... Wow! i can not only visualise this expression but feel it too. Very impressive.
Blue Monk
This write tome describes the human life perfectly
We as a race are too set in the life we now lead and are either afraid or just plain too lazy to do something ANYTHING to help this World obtain Change and move forward in a much happier and Peaceful World
I must admit I very much enjoy your writes and your quick witted mind in the forum always speaking with truth
I am quickly becoming a Fan
God Bless
Ron
i didn't think monks permitted themselves to want to be elsewhere. isn't 'elsewhere' neither here nor there?
if you never knew any other place than home would always be where your feet are. catch 22 to be able to imagine that 'other place.'
sometimes i find it's a frame of mind. it never really is where you are that matters--if you don't have any demons and your heart & brain aren't rotting from malnourishment than you would never find yourself in a place of discontent because the pair would never let you stay there let alone sleep there.
despite this, we all get there at some point. beady little eyes downcast towards the newspaper at your feet, no way out unless someone else opens up from the outside. the same scenery passing you by everyday and the same effing' food in your tray. your water could stand a change and the least they could do is put the newspaper right side up so as you can pretend to read. we get there and realize we hate it and buy the next flight out. no pun intended.
if all of that fails throw a blanket over the cage, i find that can work.
I really like this. I like the meaning of the poem and its also very unique.
bird in a cage
eyes casting
pensive or apprehensive
perception or reality
those are probably my favorite lines in the poem..no changes to this one. defenitely good job. I also liked ur use of vocabulary , it flowed well together.
Holly
Imbedded
Middle of the day
Restless and restless
Failure to focus
Predestined child
Bird in a cage
Eyes casting
Pensive or apprehensive
Perception or reality
Who might know
If spirits can fly
It is interesting to know that our spirits or minds tend to fly away like free birds but can it be trapped like a caged bird? So few words and yet still very interesting thought. Did a few minor changes. You can either take it into consideration or dispose of it as you choose.
I enjoyed overall the read.
cheers,
I enjoyed the way your form embodied the fractured thinking of a person who feels trapped.
When a soul feels imprisioned by all the uncontrollable variables in the world, it does give a heart hope to think that spirits may fly above all circumstance to the heights of freedom.
A cage too small to fly within, and even if you escaped the cage, could you understand flight, or have a means to take it. Your foot will fall where its shadow darkens, like a malady one cannot avoid. So why be dissapointed, shadows have their purpose.
Submission Name: Spirits Fly
